Information, Please

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By A.R. Frith

Something I need to know is: will the formerly-British Museum be giving back the chessmen to Lewis, and the marbles to Elgin?

Something I need to know is, when Westminster politicians say we won’t be allowed to use the pound, how exactly do they intend to stop us?

Something I need to know is, why won’t the Yes side give cast-iron promises about things that haven’t happened yet, when Tory ministers do it almost every day?

Something I need to know is, if some celebrity says he will leave the country if we vote Yes, is that a verbal contract?

Something I need to know is, well, three things: if we keep getting Strictly Come Dancing will it still, for us, be with Bruce Forsyth? and why does he have two Scottish names? and has he really really gone?

Something I need to know is, why does my brother in St Albans, who comes up nearly every year, not get to vote, when Polish plumbers and Pakistani shopkeepers do?

Something I need to know is, how much damage would a London government be prepared to inflict on England, just to hurt Scotland?

Something I need to know is, will independence mean more Hollywood animated films with Scottish characters, or fewer? and which is worse?

Something I need to know is, just how long will it take the European Union to decide whether they want to go on getting whisky and oil, and retain access to our fisheries and renewable energy?

Something I need to know is: what does Tam Dalyell think about it all?

Something I need to know is how Burns would have voted and Sir Walter Scott, when both sides are claiming them as their own?

Something I need to know is how would Greyfriars Bobby vote if he weren’t dead, and a dog?

Something I need to know is who is winning the arguments, so I know I am on the right side?

Something I need to know is, what does Scripture have to say?

Something I need to know is, if we are to deprivatise the Post Office, can we not do Electricity, Gas and the railways as well, while we’re at it?

Something I need to know is, do we have to be like Norway after independence? – because a friend of my mother’s went there and said it smelt fishy.

Something I need to know is, how will the integrity of the Scottish legal system be preserved if we do not have a supreme court dominated by English judges who know what’s what?

Something I need to know is, will independence mean that anti-discrimination laws may at last successfully be invoked by Scottish victims in England?

Something I need to know is, what will happen to all the deadbeats, has-beens, and hangers-on whose cushy existence in the Lords or Commons will be doomed by a Yes vote, but whom we certainly don’t want back?

Something I need to know definitely is how a future Scottish Government will respond to some particular crisis in a particular set of circumstances, all, as yet, unknown? AND whether they will manage better than Westminster in the same situation, given that Westminster will not be looking primarily (if at all) to Scotland’s interests?

Something I need to know is John Barrowman’s considered opinion, which deserves to be influential doesn’t it?

Something I need to know is what are Better Together spending their money on, when self evidently it isn’t posters, public meetings or literature?

Something I need to know is what questions yet need asked.

Something I need to know is that there are smaller nations with fewer advantages than Scotland which flourish in the modern world.

Something I need to know – something I do know, in my heart -

We can do this. Yes.

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Categories: Poetry

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32 replies

  1. Tmo too much emotion

  2. brilliant!

  3. Something I need to know is the issuance of threats from a political elite in hoc to corporate interests supposed to cow me into submission like all the others the have browbeaten with their neoliberal shtick ?

  4. Something I think you could know is this; re furbish Hadrian’s Wall as the great European tourist attraction and then padlock the entrance gates

  5. Something I need to know is, are we going to print this off and stuff it through the letterboxes of the Undecided?

  6. I want to know if I get a paper cut folding YES newspapers, is it Alecsammins fault? Same thing goes when a letter box nips my fingers when delivering said papers. Well, they’re sore so they are!

  7. Something I need to know is what are Better Together spending their money on, when self evidently it isn’t posters, public meetings or literature?

    Or public meetings

  8. Sorry missed out the open before public meetings?

    Sunday mornings

  9. Small point on post times, is your clock not on Summer time yet?

  10. I need to know if this sunny weather we are getting is going to continue permanently after a YES vote. :-)

  11. I need to know when the Don’t Knows have all the information they need, is it on the 20th September?

  12. Something I need to know is, how much would this article cost as a tattoo?

  13. Something you might want to know it that the Elgin marbles are from Athens, not Elgin.

    • Yes – but if Elgin got them back then we could return back to their rightful owners after a wee while…

      I think Port Ellen on Islay, also needs its Marbles returned as Lord George Robertson and Alistair Carmichael appear to have lost theirs.

      What an unfortunate wee place to have spawned these two – what are the chances of that?

  14. I should like to know that resources are in place
    to respond to the demonstrations of
    passionate unionist defiance
    which will occur after the Yes result.

  15. “Something I need to know is, why does my brother in St Albans, who comes up nearly every year, not get to vote, when Polish plumbers and Pakistani shopkeepers do?” What’s the difference? Except that the Polish/Pakistani people have chosen to live and make a life in Scotland, maybe? don’t know why you singled out those people but sounded a bit problematic to me… Great questions apart from that though!

  16. Thought provoking and highlights the fact that we will mainly be dealing with assertions, not reliable information, until after September 18th.

  17. Just to answer first question the British government have refused to give the Elgin Marbles back to Greece.

  18. Great questions many of which have not been asked before.

  19. Better Together are spending their money on Rob Shorthouse’s mortgage. And on posters that have the cheek to defend the second worst pension in the OECD

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