Boris Represents You
14th July 2016
Yesterday David Cameron resigned in disgrace having just instigated constitutional and economic crisis. It was expected that you join in the BBC’s reverent tones and the House of Commons applause.
Your new Foreign Secretary has advocated the re-colonisation of Africa:
“The problem is not that we were once in charge, but that we are not in charge any more… Consider Uganda, pearl of Africa, as an example of the British record. … the British planted coffee and cotton and tobacco, and they were broadly right… If left to their own devices, the natives would rely on nothing but the instant carbohydrate gratification of the plantain. You never saw a place so abounding in bananas: great green barrel-sized bunches, off to be turned into matooke. Though this dish (basically fried banana) was greatly relished by Idi Amin, the colonists correctly saw that the export market was limited… The best fate for Africa would be if the old colonial powers, or their citizens, scrambled once again in her direction; on the understanding that this time they will not be asked to feel guilty.” Boris Johnson: 2002
Time to be left to our own devices.