Love Life – February

‘Love Life’ is Bella’s Agony Aunt column by Jamie Heckert… because the personal is political and the ‘state we’re in’ is complicated.

Freedom, in Scotland and elsewhere, isn’t something that is given by governments or other authorities. It’s something that’s practiced. And not just in social movements or halls of power. It’s part of everyday life.
Contact Jamie – our Love Life Editor at: bellaslovelife@aktivix.org

Hey – I didn’t know you wrote for Bella C. I’ve only posted here once (Real World Avatar) and don’t find much time to scrutinise blogs. However, I had to ask you for your thoughts on why we (i.e. the so-called civilised) do not understand that everything comes from nature. We are so smart. We can cure diseases and send probes into outer space yet the ruling culture is based around planet-trashing perpetual consumption (to provide economic growth, you understand!)

OK, not the best question but I’d appreciate your thoughts! What the hell is wrong with us?

All the best for 2012 Jamie

Mandy x Continue reading

Love Life – January

‘Love Life’ is Bella’s Agony Aunt column by Jamie Heckert… because the personal is political and the ‘state we’re in’ is complicated.

Freedom, in Scotland and elsewhere, isn’t something that is given by governments or other authorities. It’s something that’s practiced. And not just in social movements or halls of power. It’s part of everyday life.

This month I respond to Davie Park’s comment on last month’s column:

Having only a tenuous grip on the idea(s) of anarchism / anarcho-syndicalism, it seems to me that the fundamental problem is that, whilst the capitalist system wouldn’t be undermined by even many thousands of people living an anarchist lifestyle, anarchism could be completely undermined by even just a few people whose primary motive is profit and personal enrichment.

Also, unrealistic as they may be, the dreams of the freedoms that huge personal wealth can bring sustains many of us in hard times. Nearly all of us play the game of ‘What would you do if you won the lottery?’ Asking people to give up on these dreams will be one tough job.

Dear Davie,

Thank you taking the time to share your thoughts! These are great questions which I’m sure many Bella Caledonia readers can relate to.

For many people on the Left, there is a belief in a capitalist system that should be smashed, undermined or at least reformed. And those who believe that capitalism is good and necessary are talking about how it has to change in order to maintain growth. Continue reading

Love Life – December

‘Love Life’ is Bella’s Agony Aunt column by Jamie Heckert… because the personal is political and the ‘state we’re in’ is complicated. See here for more background.

Dear Jamie,

Do you think that anarchy can really work? I mean, it’s a beautiful idea in theory, but when I look at the people around me, I fear that it would all go horribly wrong. What do you think an anarchist Scotland would look like? How would it work?

Yours,
Tired and cynical in Tiree Continue reading

Love Life (November)

‘Love Life’ is Bella’s Agony Aunt column by Jamie Heckert… because the personal is political and the ‘state we’re in’ is complicated. See here for more background.

Dear Jamie,

I’ve been reading your column from the beginning and I still don’t get it. How does a relationship advice column help Scotland to become a free nation? We’re not just talking about helping ‘everyone live a little more freely, equally and lovingly’ here, we’re talking about independence. This is a political question, not just a personal problem.

Confused in Kirkaldy

Dear Confused,

Thank you for writing in. That’s a great question! My short answer is, it depends what you mean by freedom and independence. Continue reading

Love Life (October)

Freedom, in Scotland and elsewhere, isn’t something that is given by governments or other authorities. It’s something that’s practiced. And not just in social movements or halls of power. It’s part of everyday life. It’s in our bodies, in our relationships with ourselves and each other. ‘Love Life’ is Bella’s Agony Aunt column because the personal is political and the ‘state we’re in’ is complicated. Jamie Heckert (your host) writes: “Want to ask about ethics, erotics or ecology? Or perhaps anarchy, autonomy, or anatomy? I don’t know if I’ll be able to answer every letter, but I’ll certainly do what I can. And maybe, even if I can’t answer each one, just writing a letter down will help.”

Email him at: bellaslovelife@aktivix.org

Dear Jamie,

We’re writing to ask you about trust. We’ve been a couple and are currently in a very uncertain place in our relationship. It hurts. Continue reading

Love Life

By Jamie Heckert

What is one man’s and one woman’s love and desire, against the history of two worlds, the great revolutions of our lifetimes, the hope, the unending cruelty of our species? A little thing. But a key is a little thing, next to the door it opens. If you lose the key, the door may never be unlocked. It is in our bodies that we lose or begin our freedom, in our bodies that we accept or end our slavery.

- Ursula Le Guin, Four Ways to Forgiveness

            Freedom, in Scotland and elsewhere, isn’t something that is given by governments or other authorities. It’s something that’s practiced. And not just in social movements or halls of power. It’s part of everyday life. It’s in our bodies, in our relationships with ourselves and each other.

I am grateful to feminists such as Le Guin who remind me of this. All too often in social movements or political discussions, it’s those everyday things that can get left out, made out to be ‘just personal problems’. I don’t see that neat line, myself, between personal and political. The relationships of domination that make up official economies and political systems aren’t magically stopped by little things like bedroom doors, declarations of love or other markers of personal life.  And, as Le Guin and others point out, genuine acts of love are part of revolutionary change.

And so this column, where I am serving as Bella Calledonia’s new Anarchy Aunt. Writing and talking about the links between intimacy, sexuality and radical politics is what I do. I taught sex education in Edinburgh schools for 8 years (what a great job!) and did a PhD on anarchism and sexuality. Doing that, I learned that intellectualising the emotionally challenging stuff in life doesn’t make it all better. Oh, no! I still appreciate political theory and intellectual discussions. But I like them even more if they’ve got heart. How do we really learn to listen to ourselves and each other? How do we practice that freedom that I suspect we all want? It doesn’t happen (just) from reading Karl Marx or even Emma Goldman. It happens from the real life practice of relationships. And it’s not easy. We all need help. Continue reading