2007 - 2022

Kill Pudsey

It’s the tyranny of the can-shake, the soporific of the charidee triad: Terry Wogan, Fearne Cotton and Gaby Roslin. Children in Need has been going since 1980 but god it feels like a lot longer.

This sort of infantile ‘tear-jerking’ analysis of the world has now become a constant drone behind the eyes of the All Seeing Eye. Think of the narrative behind The Secret Millionaire: rich people will save you, (if they can be arsed). The last one I saw was a billionaire who’d made his money out of private care homes. He tossed off a couple of cheques for £15k and off he went.

Now, I know that Children in Need has made (approx) £500 million in the last thirty years or so, and I’ve no doubt it does good things. But this kind of relentless charity ‘giving’ seems more and more a prop to a system based on obscene inequalities, and to make entertainment out of this situation with us as passive, teary-eyed by-standers renders another level to this being a horror story. Solidarity not charity is what’s required and moves to transform our society rather than indulge in this moronism. One radio commentator this morning gushed about how she ‘always looks forward to Children in Need’.  Yes, I hope there’s another famine so we can get Bob & Bono back for a knees up.

Today we learned that dawn raids courtesy of the UKBA are still taking place across Scotland. Children are woken up by immigration officials wearing uniforms and stab-proof vests only to see their mothers being handcuffed (more on this tomorrow) – but the Scottish Parliament hasn’t the powers to stop this happening.

This is the reality of children in need.

Comments (14)

Join the Discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Siôn Jones says:

    It’s also the public emoting, Lady Diana style, that is cringe-, making! Sure it is a good cause, but it does far more good for (the egos and feelings of fulfilment) of those people taking part than it does for the charities that benefit.

  2. Neil Barbour says:

    thank you for making the point so eloquently, Scotland’s children are in need 365 days a year not just on one evening in November

  3. seven says:

    $15,000, not a lot really, just 1/667th of £1,000,000. Of course, the equivalent % donation from a minimum wage worker on 40 hours would be £3.65 from £243.20. Sorts of puts it in perspective too, just small change really

  4. Scottish republic says:

    Charity in a healthy society is a good thing but charity as a replacement for society doing its duty is lamentable.

    The silver lining of disgust is those Tories giving a bit here and there at ‘evenings’ whilst being applauded by other Tories.

  5. Jacquie Johnstone says:

    Not amused by the short sighted selfish comments, yes it is at times tear jerking yes it is shaking cans yes it is one day a year. Do not forget we are in the 21st centuary and it is dreadful the need and yes there is a need for this type of thing . There ought not to be but such is life. We can insult deride but much of it is in our hands as well easy to turn the other way and blame others. Good points it teaches children there are many less fortunate than themselves, encourages them to participate in helping others. We give billions away to foreign lands when those at home go without. I am first and foremost a nationalist left or right wing does not bother me, pity others were not so open minded. Forget your left wing philsophies, for one night of the year be a humanitarian it is after all children we are talking about. If this is your kind of nationalisim it is not mine. Oh yes I do not pay a TV licence fee I boycott BBC and loathe the channel.

    1. Tocasaid says:

      Do those at home ‘go without’? I’m sure that if you count up all that is spent on health, education and social services then our kids do not ‘go without’. There is poverty here that needs addressed but spreading false information about other poor in the world won’t help that.

      Plus, are you saying that if those ‘£billions’ were spent here, in the current system and climate’ that poverty in Scotland would disappear? I doubt it.

      Fact is, we spend almost all of our money on ourselves, be it on nuclear power subsidies to our military adventures at home and abroad to MPs expenses to private companies who own our schools and hospitals.

  6. Celticsleftwing says:

    Children in Need is abysmal.

    Newsreaders with little credibility suddenly lose all credibility by dancing around like embarassing parents.
    The outrage of Tory loving celebs like Brucie introducing reports that state that 1 in 5 children live in poverty then coming back and emoting is beyond parody.

    The appalling ‘neutrality’ of it all. Rubbing our faces in the inequality and asking us to PITY not to get Angry.

    If they even had the guts to ask everyone to contribute 10% then at least it would feel like it was making a point, but as you point out, multinationals with big cardboard cheques are just grim.

  7. Calvin Smith says:

    Let’s all just face facts shall we ? The existence of charity is proof of failure by the state, and society as a whole, to provide for its neediest citizens … if you give to charity you agree to and accept the privatisation of all the state’s responsibilities to its citizens, for the benefit of business interests … charity is big business … that fact alone should give you all pause ! … If the government doesn’t have to pay for the welfare of its citizens it can spend more on armourment and empire building , conversely if the government is spending vast sums on empire building and NOT providing for the needs of its citizens, the we are all being defrauded … Charity is a failure of the government’s responsibilities at all levels of society

  8. Albalha says:

    So all up this, surely what should by now be seen as an anachronism, will raise about £40 million, by my reckoning the equivalent of 40 out of the 100 RBS bods who were handed £1 milion in bonuses last year, if only perspective could be applied but sadly people are still in awe of watching average entertainers and relishing the chance to be seen on the tele.
    Maybe your killing off suggestion could be taken further next year with pyres of Pudseys throughout the UK.

  9. Grasshopper says:

    Thank you for putting into words what I am not allowed to say. Yesterday I had to switch off the wireless at 10.30, managed to catch some CIN-free stuff on R4 later, and kept my evening viewing to other channels. It’s all that sycophancy, those celebs in need of new contracts and wanting to show off their versatility, that I can’t stand. Charity is much closer to home, and in all our communities. I don’t need this mush to do my bit.

  10. Tocasaid says:

    Ha-ha! Excellent title. It has all us Pudsey-hater coming out oor closets.

    As an alternative, how about Pudsey against military spending? Pudsey against nuclear power subsidies? Pudsey against the cuts?

  11. Anon says:

    At work we were sent an email suggesting we all wear pyjamas to work to raise money for Children In Need. Don’t worry, the email said, if you don’t have any pjs you can pick some up quite cheap in Primark.

    I burst out laughing at the irony – raise money for children in need by giving money to a company which has sold cheap clothing made by exploiting child labour

  12. Scottish republic says:

    Let me re-explain.

    Charity in a healthy society that tries its best to take care of the weak and disenfranchised is admirable


    charity to desperately replace a function and activity the government should be doing itself is sad and worrying.

    I think that better captures my thoughts.

  13. Peter Nunn says:

    I am not sure Pudsey has any link to Stab Proof Vests but good article, enjoyed.

Help keep our journalism independent

We don’t take any advertising, we don’t hide behind a pay wall and we don’t keep harassing you for crowd-funding. We’re entirely dependent on our readers to support us.

Subscribe to regular bella in your inbox

Don’t miss a single article. Enter your email address on our subscribe page by clicking the button below. It is completely free and you can easily unsubscribe at any time.