Caption Competition

The Prime MInister was in Jockland to announce his new Devo Shsh initiative. Here is David Cameron eating porridge in Fife last week. Special prize to the reader with the funniest caption for the event…

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  1. Pat McClay says:

    First oor ile, noo ma purritch … wee nyaff!

    1. Tocasaid says:

      Aw shoite, you beat me to it. Apologies for below.

      1. Pat McClay says:

        Great minds and all that LOL

  2. N. R. Kistt says:

    “Oi, Bastard, that’s mine.”

  3. Is it free range or farmed?

  4. “I wonder if he will guess which one I gobbed in first”.

  5. Tormod says:

    “I really need to fart, oh wait ahh that’s a smelly one!”

  6. elmer the pea says:

    Wonder if he’ll notice that it’s extra creamy!

  7. lenathehyena says:

    O wad some Power the giftie gie us. To see oursels as ithers see us.

  8. Tocasaid says:

    First our oil, now they steal oor porridge.

  9. DC: “Oat so Simple, ha yah, lovely pun, so what’s this special sauce the lads are talking about?”

  10. evelyn mcculloch says:

    I’m going to milk those Scots for all their worth……..

  11. ye’ll’ve hud yer porridge

  12. Sorry, can’t resist it….

    “This c*nt’s already got an orange glow”.

  13. Ron Fowlie says:

    ‘Any chance of some jam with this, old chap?’

  14. Michael says:

    Cameron Oblivious To Porridge Inequality

  15. I hear you take it with a pinch of salt up here

  16. Michael says:


    Cameron Family Reunion Goes Sour: Milk Was Best Before Thatcher

  17. Thom Cross says:

    Don’t worry Jock! I’ll leave you some in the bottom of the plate.

    1. Thom Cross says:

      Aye , as usual! But I ken my Brecht! He has a wee sang
      ” If you have an empty plate how do you expect to sup
      It’s up to you to take state and turn it over bottoms up.”
      Heh? Where did that glow man go?

  18. John Thomson says:

    Worker to PM, “Gonna day us a favur neebur! Let me ken when you’re goona start way awe that ‘separatist’ shite so I can pull doon my ear-defender oor ma lugs!”

  19. John Thomson says:

    Cameron to aide, “Can I get a translator over here. How about Ruth? She’s not doing anything at the moment?”

  20. hector says:

    no being picky but a think he was eating porridge in fife.
    anyway caption-‘whaurs yer spoon posh boy,yer no suppin oot the bowl like at hame’

    1. bellacaledonia says:

      Quite right, visiting Edinburgh and eating porridge at Pepsico in Fife. Thanks.

      1. hector says:

        hec just noticed the spoon.

  21. John Thomson says:

    Must have misheard Ruth when she invited me to Scotland to sow my wild oats!

  22. Eric says:

    Workie “Whit was yon Vulcan mind trick…och aye, CHOKE.”

  23. Paul Kerr says:

    So foodtaster, you can detect arsenic, cyanide and salt, can’t you?

  24. Donald Adamson says:

    “As I was saying, my house master at Eton was a Quaker”.

  25. Russell Bruce says:

    “Ah came intae the canteen fur ma breakfast and here’s you playing Goldilocks”

  26. john ferguson says:

    Did they no give you a spoon for that or are you jist posin?

  27. redcliffe62 says:

    I know I am deaf so I cannot hear his crap, but being handpicked to sit beside this posh git was not in my job description.

  28. Blag Hound says:

    Now Scottie. This is for you own good. Look at this porridge; worthless thick gruel. Add the London milk & hey presto – a delicious breakfast fit for a King. Slurp!

  29. vronsky says:

    A donor centre? So what do all you men come here to donate?

  30. MajorBloodnok says:

    “Look at that. A Tory that can sit doon and use a spoon at the same time.”

  31. Craig P says:

    “And what do you mean by ‘my spoon’s no lang enough son’?”

  32. Doug Daniel says:

    “Are you gonna gies ma milk back?”

    “No no old chap, you don’t get milk from geese!”

  33. Doug Daniel says:

    “So, I take it I can count on your vote?”

  34. Doug Daniel says:

    “So why do I remind you of Margaret Thatcher, old chum? Is it because I’m a strong leader bringing family values back to the centre of government policy-making?”

    “No, it’s cos ye’ve pinched ma milk, ya fud.”

    1. evelyn mcculloch says:

      LOL! Milk snatcher!

  35. Edinburgh Quine says:

    I say old chap, where I come from we usually only give this to our horses

  36. bigskelf says:

    Ok yah, I’ve got your breakfast and if you vote No, I think might let you have some for Lunch
    Nah yer a’right, you help yersel, being a guest an aw that. But I’ll buy ma ain lunch thank you

  37. Louisa says:

    “After Westminster filching Scotland’s wealth for centuries, should you not be doing porridge rather than eating it?”

  38. Richard Heggie says:

    “Since you’ve rejected my bowl of porridge today, I may be willing to consider offering you some jam tomorrow”

  39. Craig P says:

    Latest ‘I’m a Celebrity’ News! David thanks his lucky stars the bushtucker trial was not in MacSweens.

  40. Frank Garden says:

    I suppose I must eat this barbarian gruel just to impress the peasants.
    O yuck chaps they have provided me with an aliminium spoon instead of my usual Silver one.

  41. Andrew says:

    Feckin tenner fir sittin next tae this erse.

  42. Donald Adamson says:

    Johann Lamont sneaks in to porridge factory to discuss the prospects of the Labour-Tory coalition with David Cameron.

  43. Milk Monitoring for Old Etonians used to be a great job until the Health & Safety rules kicked in.

  44. “Can’t believe Johann made me do this!, when I get rid of this ridiculous outfit I’m heading straight back to westminster, get rat arsed and punch the first tory I see”

  45. Castle Rock says:

    “So you see Jock, you can vote Labour all you like but they’ll still support me over the likes of you. Now, this milk pours southwards just like…”

  46. Stephen Roney says:

    “If the Scot’s believe that I will deliver Devo Max if they vote against Independence, then they are all clearly as thick as this Porridge?” “What, what”.

  47. Stephen Roney says:

    “Nanny used to make me eat this all the time. That’s why I tell lies to the Scot’s about Independence. It’s a Nanny complex all we Upper Class Twits have”. “Now where my dummy?” “Ah here he is, my friend Nick”.

  48. Rolf says:

    DC: Some porridge photo-op this. He looks nothing like Ronnie Barker.

  49. Rob Falconer says:

    I hope you staff don’t mind my eating with you, but there’s a bit of a punch-up going on in the House of Commons bar

  50. nic says:

    If only ah could find ma earmuffs, then ah’d nae hae to listen tae this puddin…

  51. chicmac says:

    I’m sure that bastertin foreman fiddled yon short straw draw!

  52. Rob Falconer says:

    I hope you staff don’t mind my eating with you, but there’s a bit of a punch-up going on in the House of Commons bar at the moment

  53. Cameron asking-“Do you have your Oats every day.”? Worker-“Aye,but the wife refuses to let me use milk.”

  54. Stephen Roney says:

    Man with the earmuffs to himself, “I put some “extra special” cream into his porridge”, hehe. “Being an old Etonian he’d have been used to that “special cream” he received between the ages of 11 and 14 when he “fagged” to the older boys”, i.e. the “Cream” of the British Empire”.

  55. Thinks

    ” and in about 2 months or so, the Polonium 121 will kick in, Mr Cameron!”

  56. Donald Adamson says:

    “I’ll remember that the next time I see Michael Moore and Danny Alexander – fur coat an nae knickers – very good”.

  57. Alex Montrose says:

    Dave, Now tell me Jock, where are you going for your holidays?

    Jock, Nae pliss

    Dave, Naples, wonderful city, daddy had a vineyard there, when are you going?

  58. Yes, one is reminded, looking at this pan, how ones Cameron and Donald ancestors had their little spot of bother at Prestonpans settled by the timing of the event, and can’t help but wondering, a teensy-weensy bit, if Tubby and one can’t do something similar for this little sov(ahem) issue. I rather think that it would go down well over a spot of croquet and lightly toasted Campbell. Ah, but I can see with that cheeky look in your eye dear fellow, that you’re one step ahead of me.

  59. vince meredith says:

    use your napkin Dave. You dont want anymore spilt milk.

  60. The look on Larrys face suggested that David’s milk contained more than just milk

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