JACK****

Does the Butcher’s Apron do your head in? Are you already tired of the tat? Are your eyes wearied by Jubilee propaganda? Bored of Team GB?

With the onslaught of the Olympics and the relentless march of tea-parties and renditions of God Save the Queen coming down the track, it’s time to  offer some antidote to the this orgy of monarchy…

Bella offers JACK**** a unique interactive competition.

Between now and the culmination of this godawful Festival of Fawning on June 5 we’ll be deciding not to tug the forelock in the direction of our feudal masters. We won’t be lining the streets to watch the Olympic Flame go by, and we won’t be dribbling at the Countdown to the Pageant or checking out our Coronation Chicken recipes.

Send us your best / worst examples of excessive Union-Jackery, and you could win one of our unique specially commissioned t-shirts.

Go here for contact details. Email us your suggestions or post them in the comments below. The best examples will be up for a prize.

Keep track of suggestions at #JACK****

 

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  1. One of the things that really bugs me is the fact that the British National Anthem, probably uniquely, does not mention the nation. Even ignoring the fact that it is a dire droning dirge, should this not disqualify it by definition?

  2. James says:

    That suit doesn’t have a union jack on it so not a great example.

    1. bellacaledonia says:

      Pedant

      1. James says:

        And you think unionists won’t be as forensic in their criticism? I’m merely playing devils advocate. I’m all for ridiculing pomp and circumstance.

        http://home.freeuk.com/gsj/union_jack_man.jpg

        1. bellacaledonia says:

          Hey, I’m joking. Ollie’s a great flag-bearer for this comp.

      2. greetaV says:

        i could not buy the large ( cheaper in the long run) jar of marmite coz it had all this jack shit over it ….. i may now have to purchase another jar before the year is oot …. i am not chuffed

      3. Aucheorn says:

        GreetaV
        I prefer Vegemite, not just because it’s colonial.

  3. I think Ollie is one of those oafs that inhabit ” the only way is Essex”? I could be wrong!

  4. Siôn Jones says:

    I have to say that I am particularly taken with this classy piece of attire! Every republican should have one. http://www.amazon.co.uk/union-jack-plastic-bowler-hat/dp/B004IK6ADE/ref=sr_1_49?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1336824517&sr=1-49

    1. Aucheorn says:

      Wot no toilet paper

  5. Ron Fowlie says:

    Bored already with the Jolly Jubilee? Had a gutful of the Overhyped Olympix? Amuse yourselves by spotting all the union flags flown upside down by the union supporters. Used to be a sign of distress – perhaps it still is!

  6. joe kane says:

    Royalty and nostalgia go hand in hand, so how about an acid trip down memory lane in this Olympic Royal Diamond Jubilee year.
    These are obviously so plastic it’s difficult to tell them apart from the real couple –

    Reduced from £99.95 to £29.95 –
    Royal Wedding Dolls | Princess Catherine Wedding Doll and Prince William Doll | Limited Edition Kate Middleton Bride Collector’s Doll
    Amazon UK

    Reduced from £99.99 to £71.38 –
    Barbie Collector Royal Wedding William and Catherine Doll Set
    Amazon UK

  7. Mark Harper says:

    I cany bring mysel tae take part in this flag hunt cause it’s jist anither wiy eay takin’ part in this gawd awfy crap!

  8. Col W says:

    I’ve linked the thread to one running on a fitba website, there’s a pic of a dog toy of what looks like a meerkat with union jack boxer shorts on.
    http://www.pieandbovril.com/forum/index.php/topic/174940-jubilee-and-olympic-crap/page__pid__6229595#entry6229595

  9. R Louis says:

    The awful union rag flying on Edinburgh castle, has been there all my life. It is an obscenity. Each summer, this is made worse, as for the duration of the tattoo they fly an even bigger one – which can even be seen from space. Probably.

    Anyway, if we’re talking longevity and life time irritation (surely that’s one of the prize categories??) then the castle flag wins hands down. Probably.

  10. raddledoldtart says:

    I nominate Mr Kipling’s red white & blue fondant fancies!

  11. bellacaledonia says:

    Thanks to Morag Eyrie who posted this Pinterest link to excessive jackery:

    http://pinterest.com/search/?q=unnecessaryunionjacks

  12. David McCann says:

    Fit likes is your prize? How about a FCt’UK tee shirt?

  13. Craig P says:

    If you are offended by UF’s then I suggest you stay out of John Lewis for the duration… at least I now know where the Orange Order shop for their rugs, carpets, underpants, bedlinen, wallpaper, handbags, cushions and serviettes.

    http://www.johnlewis.com/Gifts/Diamond+Jubilee/Diamond+Jubilee/Fashion+Accessories/28078/ProductCategory.aspx?intcmp=Fash_cat_gifts_carousel_jubileeaccs_200412

  14. Seumas says:

    John Lewis are a veritable font of olympic and union jack tat just now. The Union Jack bathroom range is particularly crass.

    http://www.gamesofstate.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Photo-13-05-2012-13-50-54.jpg

    For sheer opportunism, Lakeland deserve credit thanks to their jubilee clothes pegs.

    http://www.gamesofstate.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Photo-13-05-2012-13-50-54.jpg

    I’ve also seen union themed M&Ms and jelly beans in the past few days.

    1. Seumas says:

      Apoligies. Messed up one of the links. The union jack towels can be found here: http://www.gamesofstate.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Photo-13-05-2012-12-55-48-1024×764.jpg

  15. Mark Harper says:

    Just left moonpig because of the ovewhelming avalanch of union jack guff. Anyone looking for alternatives there’s asda cards http://www.asda-cards.co.uk/ or funkypigeon http://www.funkypigeon.com/

  16. Mark Harper says:

    On second thoughts funkypigeon may be even worse!

    1. bellacaledonia says:

      For those that asked, here is our rather beautiful t-shirt prize:

      http://wp.me/s93oK-jack

  17. pmcrek says:

    After spending the last month watchign star trek dvd’s and playing warcraft I have to ask two questions, is there an olympics on? Whats a jubilee?

  18. Morag Eyrie says:

    The original Village Aunties post announcing our #unnecessaryunionjacks collection is here: http://villageaunties.org/2012/04/09/unnecessary-union-jacks-in-scotland-uncovering-subliminal-advertising/ and a brand new post with a whole bunch more and some analysis, just posted, plus suggestions for resistance, is here: http://villageaunties.org/2012/05/18/resist-the-ubiquitous-union-jack/

    As Bella noted above, we have a Pinterest Board which we’d love you all to contribute to (I will grab some of the suggestions in these comments), we now have ca 150 examples here: http://pinterest.com/search/?q=unnecessaryunionjacks

    I have dibs on the Ann Summers mankini for the competition though! NSFW and it will burn your eyes out of their sockets: http://pinterest.com/pin/83809243035920937/

  19. bellacaledonia says:

    T-shirt prize to be decided on Jubilee day, here’s the prize:

    http://scottishuprising.spreadshirt.co.uk/

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