2007 - 2022

Her Gloriousness

COc_HuEWoAAaBkkFor one toe-curling day only we are offering special prizes for the best examples of sycophancy in the media around Lizzie’s Big Day. Inspired by Allan Massie’s constitutional frottage over at The Scotsman (‘God Save the Queen’) we are looking for the most squeallingly deferential tit-bits on this auspicious day of wonder. Remember bonus points are available for actual physical grovelling. We have till midnight tonight – but early contenders include:

Google suggested by  “ hard to top Google’s ‘congratulations Ma’am’ on the home page. they’re not even British!?”

A good point and extra marks I think for gratuitous grovelling there…

Nicholas Witchell for this suggested by Media Lens, who write: “Nicholas ‘Loch Ness’ Witchell on QE2: ‘Steadfast. Constant. Dutiful.’ UK journalism: simpering, craven, pitiful.” Indeed. Bow lower peons.

COd210LWcAErSbQSir Calum Gillhooley @distalgesic who says: “ Has to be the Torygraph hashtag.”

Tony McK ll*ll ‏@oakroyd  who suggests: “Anne Atkins, R4 Thought for The Day.’The greatest example (of the royal role) is to say ‘Not my will, but Thine, be done’.”

Which is nice – a wee hint of divine rule which is always good.

Pa Broon points out that John Major was pretty cloying in this interview here. Possibly two of the biggest Trumpets in christendom.

 does well with “ The Courier’s“Clean for the Queen” article (p3) must be worthy of a mention!”

Yes! There’s something almost medieval about that idea, thank you.

Carpet Burnsey is eagle-eyed citing the unfortunate Councilor David Meikle who tweeted: “Congratulations to Her Majesty the Queen on becoming Britain’s longest serving Monarch today.

COdVg7-WwAAt4etThis is nice (right) from Janine Smith @TartaandTweed who points to our very own Ruth Davidson MSP tweeting excitedly. Blessed indeed.

suggested “ the fella on Call Kaye who suggested all political parties should be abolished and the Queen should make all the decisions.”

Which we like – what better way to mark this auspicious occasion?

I like this from Gordon Mayweather who writes: “ My entry: Charles Moore, Telegraph who said “She is what the Bible calls “pure in heart”.”

Lovely. It includes this very strange logic: “This reconciliation of monarchy and democracy is not a freakish coincidence, but a real political discovery of the 20th century. Any list of the top 20 democracies in the world today would include Britain, Sweden, the Netherlands, Canada, Denmark, Australia, Norway and New Zealand. Elizabeth II is Queen of half of these nations. The combination of monarchy and democracy helps a country be free and secure at the same time.”

 writes: Julian Fellowes in RT ‘ the fact that Prince Albert and Prince Philip were both sort of gorgeous adds to the fairytale” – good, we’re missing a bit of homoerotic ultra fealty.

Coming thick and fast now….

One great suggestion (from Richard Gibbons) is this effort from Iain Martin at the strange CapX site he edits. Titled humbly ‘God Save the Queen’ he writhes in self-abasement before the wondrous leader before adding: “it is tremendously amusing that she will travel to the Borders to take a train ride with Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. Seeing their “here today, gone tomorrow” political heroine sitting there smiling alongside a giant of history and superstar monarch will drive a lot of Scottish Nationalists – who cannot stand the monarchy – completely bananas. What a bonus, on this marvellous day.”

But we think Piers Morgan is a difficult man to beat with his lovely tweet: “Thank you for every amazing minute Ma’am – all 33,460, 800 of them. My tribute to the Queen!”

COeMPMQWsAAR0As“On a very special day, a tribute to a remarkable woman from one of her (not so) humble subjects” … You can read his fawning scrawl here.

Maybe only to be surpassed by young Brooklyn Beckham (opposite).

So who have we missed?

Suggestions please peasants…


Comments (34)

Join the Discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Saor Alba says:

    That’s better out than in.

    1. willie says:

      I wonder if she needed a royal whoopsie when she was up here.

      Nothing like a royal dump when one’s up visiting one’s Scottish subjects.

      Long to dump over us Ma’am. Thank you.

  2. Jimmy Waugh says:

    As Mrs Brown would say “That’s Nice”

  3. Thomas McGarvey says:

    Better to ignore Lizzie this month and celebrate the life and achievements of James Keir Hardie who died in September 1915. For some reason Gordon Brown just delivered a BBC Radio Scotland tribute to the great man. I dont see the connection personally, except that one was the heroic founder and visionary first leader of the Labour party and the other was Gordon Brown.
    Lizzie might be dutiful etc. but she still represents everything that has been wrong with this Britain for centuries. She might bring in tourists and all that but so does the Loch Ness Monster!
    Aye Saor Alba, it geez me the dry boke anaw.

    Lest ye forget. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2c-X8HiBng

    1. Alan says:

      The antidote for royal nausea, plus bonus laugh.

    2. Heidstaethefire says:

      Dry boak, surely?

  4. slimshady61 says:

    WItchell on last night’s news
    “Tomorrow is just another working day for this busy queen…. she never stops working for her subjects”

    Aye, right Nicky boy

    1. Saor Alba says:

      Surely he means objects?

  5. Alba Woman says:

    Total fantasy stuff. Liz sat up in Balmoral throughout the Referendum waiting and just being in Scotland. Her little chat towards the hysterical end of the BT campaign was the sink and all tactic favoured by the British and Scottish establishment.

    She is the epitome of it mattering what bed you are born in.

  6. George McIvor says:

    I had to put Radio Scotland off after about 4 minutes this morning …. and same on wee Nicola for all those Ma’ams on the railway!

  7. Don bradley says:

    Who ARE these bludy people ?
    WHY are these bludy people ?

  8. Jean says:

    My stomack is heaving………

    1. willie says:

      Bowels for others.

      A dose of Royal Keechitis for me.

  9. jimnarlene says:

    Can’t add, been avoiding Betty and her flunkies, as much as is possible.

  10. Chic McGregor says:

    God Save Our Cringe

    God save our gracious Cringe.
    Long live our noble Cringe.
    God save our Cringe!
    Send your most odorous,
    Toxins and nuclear dust,
    Long to rain over us.
    God save our cringe!

    O Lord a Cringer has,
    No need for enemas,
    With friends like you.
    Define our politics,
    Teach us enslavement tricks,
    We’re too wee, poor and thick,
    God save our cringe!

    Our choicest gifts we send,
    To you our London friends,
    Every last one.
    May you define our laws,
    To stamp out the rebel cause,
    We’re proud we have nae baws.
    God save our Cringe!

    In front of foreign foe,
    All our young lads can go,
    Just cause or not.
    Your army they’ll extend,
    Great London’s greed defend,
    No great mischief should their lives end.
    God save our Cringe!

    Lord grant we marshal aid,
    To ensure your lies are played.
    Thus victory bring.
    May we sedition hush,
    And with a lavvy brush,
    Independence truths we’ll flush.
    God save our cringe!

  11. Lenny says:

    Just watched Nicola singing the Queens praises on the Scottish news.

    What a remarkable woman!

  12. kat hamilton says:

    wonder how long it would take for lizzie and phil to be wheeled out again in scotia. whether its the new glasgow hospital, new railway, or any other new edition to scotlands infrastructure her maj must be included. hoping her purrs might be a bit more neutered now that the polls are showing 53 per cent for independence. shows we are thinking carefully brenda, and time isnt in your favour.

  13. Drew Campbell says:

    I was awoken in the early hours of this morning by a noise in the back garden. I went out to see what was amiss and there was the Queen pissing in my flower bed.

    “This is my patch,” she snarled, baring her teeth. “And don’t you fucking forget it.”

    With that she hoicked up her skirts and sprang over the wall to do exactly the same in my neighbour’s garden.

    God bless her, I thought, and went back to bed.

  14. Bibbit says:

    The Wee Gibger Dug says it all in his concise,

    ‘Liz The Last’ epitaph

  15. Edwin Moore says:

    ‘who have we missed’?

    Why, the FM herself

    ‘She said the Queen’s visit had been ‘historic’, adding: ‘I think the Queen is clearly, as we saw there, very modest herself about it.

    ‘But she has given many, many long years of dedicated public service and the attendance here today was a sign that people want to show their gratitude to her for that.’

  16. bringiton says:

    She is our head of state,just that we have no say in the matter.
    Democracy London style.

  17. Kenneth G Coutts says:

    I don’t know who the woman on the train is, but what a beautifully restored LNER A4 Class steam locomotive, wonderous. Missed the shots of the other one being used as a backup anyone know.

  18. Brenda Stephens says:

    I’m a Scot living in the US, I heard a while back that big ben was being renamed Elizabeth tower. Did it happen? And if it did, is it now known as Big Lizzie?

  19. Will says:

    First Minister Nicola Sturgeon SNP is a superb politician her paying a tribute to the Queen yesterday was an astute move and as well as saying the Queen would be the Queen of Scots of an Independent Scotland it will also garner more support for Independence from the pensioners.

  20. Big Jock says:

    I think Nicola and the SNP should maintain a dignified distance from the Royal Family. It makes me very uncomfortable.

  21. Roderick MacLeod says:

    As far as I know Elizabeth was never formally crowned “Queen of Scotland”. It would be interesting hear the constitutional experts’ take on this point. This was, I believe, a controversial issue at the time with letter boxes bearing “EIIR” sabotaged etc.
    And will Charles and his heirs and successors come to Edinburgh to rectify this anomaly when their turn comes? The Stone of Scone lies near at hand.

    1. gordon murray says:

      No her grace the queen of Scots was presented with the honours of Scotland in an informal occasion shortly after her coronation at Westminster.
      It was a deliberately low key affair in response to the 2million Scots who had signed a Scottish Covenant requesting home rule, and the snatching of the Stone of Destiny in protest at the government kicking that petition into the long grass.
      The Establishment went to great pains to avoid giving any sort of recognition to the monarch’s role as queen of Scots lest it further fuel Scottish nationalism.

      1. Roderick MacLeod says:

        Yes, I read that the Burberry Her Majesty wore to the non-coronation was deemed an insufficient enrobement for the occasion, attenuated though it was: “a slight”, “condescension”, etc.
        Perhaps some thought might now be given to the “Scottish Coronation Issue”: who, for example, would coronate, or anoint with holy oils? I think we should be told. Do we know the Duke of Rothesay’s hat size?

  22. gordon murray says:

    I’m sure Her Grace will be again purring with delight.

  23. Craig P says:

    Whilst other countries are rolling out high speed infrastructure, what do we get? A fecking steam train.

  24. Calum McLean says:

    First bill in an independent Scotland should be to replace the foreign head of state with the dual role of an elected prime minister and head of state.

  25. Big Jock says:

    Nicolas Witchel talks of a small minority who want to end the monarchy in Scotland. Care to put that the test Nicola’s?

    Last polls I saw 44% wanted a Republic. some small minority.

  26. John young says:

    Flunkeys subservient brown noses no spirit gumption or bottle,alas this has been so in this country for a very long time,we should accept 100 thousand or so refugees ASAP it might just make inroads into the intractable immovable unionist block,they are never ever going to vote yes and there is unfortunately a helluva lot of them.

Help keep our journalism independent

We don’t take any advertising, we don’t hide behind a pay wall and we don’t keep harassing you for crowd-funding. We’re entirely dependent on our readers to support us.

Subscribe to regular bella in your inbox

Don’t miss a single article. Enter your email address on our subscribe page by clicking the button below. It is completely free and you can easily unsubscribe at any time.