2007 - 2022

Pandas versus Tories

Monsters v Aliens, Plants v Zombies, Real Ale v Craft Beer, Mayweather v McGregor: the epic battles that we have witnessed though the ages have been joined by another set of Titans: Pandas v Tories.

It’s lost in the mists of time the origins of the bitter feud, though some claim that it stems from the original joke that “There are more Pandas than Tory MPS in Scotland”.

This was statistically true (2 -1) until earlier this year when the Tories took a huge leap in numbers jumping from their native 1 MP to a magnificent 13.

Experts say its difficult to accurately quantify their numbers in the wild and for years it was thought that they simply couldn’t reproduce their MPs in captivity. The events seem to have made Tian Tian and Yan Guang (both said to be diehard Yesers) furious.

Today it was announced that Tian Tian is believed to be pregnant, according to Edinburgh Zoo. 

With the prospect of by-elections and quintuplets not being ruled out – the epic Pandas versus Tories is back on.


Comments (3)

Join the Discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Doghouse Rielly says:

    I think Tian Tian and Yan Guang are rather more likely to be iron hard maoists. There is some doubt as to where they sit on the national question. Ask the people of Tibet.

  2. Richard MacKinnon says:

    Scottish nationalist v Hiroo Onoda.

  3. bringiton says:

    Both Pandas and Tories have a problem with breeding.
    The pandas problem is biological and the Tories,just a complete lack of any.

Help keep our journalism independent

We don’t take any advertising, we don’t hide behind a pay wall and we don’t keep harassing you for crowd-funding. We’re entirely dependent on our readers to support us.

Subscribe to regular bella in your inbox

Don’t miss a single article. Enter your email address on our subscribe page by clicking the button below. It is completely free and you can easily unsubscribe at any time.