2007 - 2021

Welcome to the Territories

Welcome to the Territories. Penny Mordaunt, who was named after she was named after the Arethusa-class cruiser HMS Penelope, is an old-school Tory. Today she tweeted out these photographs with the message: Important continuity in the territorial offices. Congratulations to all three.”

It’s all a bit weird but worth unpacking.

First up territory literally means ‘colonial possession’:


n. pl. ter·ri·to·ries

a. An area of land; a region.
b. The land and waters under the jurisdiction of a government.
c. A political subdivision
d. A geographic region, such as a colonial possession, that is dependent on an external government: the territories of the Holy Roman Empire.
This is how we are seen.
Second Mordaunt is the Defence Secretary and the whole thing just oozes Colonial Overlord. Remember she was appointed Secretary of State for International Development in 2017 after Priti Patel went rogue in Israel, then she became the UK’s first female defense secretary after Gavin Williamson was sacked. She’s an acting Sub-Lieutenant in the navy (no I have no idea what that means or how that works).

Third, why is the Defence Secretary tweeting out about the optics put out by the devolved governments?

Fourth, where’s the Secretary of State for England?

This is militaristic British nationalism gone wild, but who is it for? It’s part of a post-Brexit phenomena I’ve called the ‘Golden Tortoise’ in which the incompetence corruption and dysfunctionality of the ruling government is draped in the Union Jack which is increasingly fetishised as a distraction from the whole shitshow.

As you were.

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Comments (9)

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  1. David Mapley says:

    Sub Lieutenant? Entry level junior officer rank, ie., gofer in a slightly better uniform than the other ranks (peons, peasant, normal folk like you and me who actually do all the work)

    1. Mons Meg says:

      Do you still get sub-lieutenants in the Royal Navy? I thought it was a thing of the past.

      1. Derek says:

        Aye; on subs.

      2. Welsh_Siôn says:

        Wasn’t that Bowie (not the sharpest knife in the box) RN (Failed)’s sobriquet?

  2. Iain Miller says:

    ….. and it’s no longer even our Union Jack but the flag of England, front and centre, with the occasional glimpse of a bit of the saltire and even less of St Patrick’s cross!

    1. Welsh_Siôn says:

      … and NO reference to MY country (I mean ‘territory’ … erm …. ‘colony’).

  3. Squigglypen says:

    I thocht territorial wis a tory called Terry…..or Peppa pig…( tries no tae laugh….)

    1. Welsh_Siôn says:

      Peppa Pig, as portrayed by the prize ham, is the chief gammon, who was intended to bring home the bacon on Brexit, by telling porkies.

      Freud would have a field day.

  4. SleepingDog says:

    The United Kingdom still tops the United Nations table on non-self-governing territories, and the Empire is very much alive (even if it resembles a smattering of pink pox rather than virulent rash on a global map these days). Some deeply disturbing imperial news from the archives (Lord Salisbury’s cover-up) has emerged this week:
    along with the showing on 4 of the first episode of Empire State of Mind.

    All is not well within British royalism, as Barbados’ newly-elected President is due to officially take over as head of state from the British imperial monarch. Sky documentaries are also weighing in on the historical crimes of royalty with unflattering portrayals of the Tudors. And what about those sealed wills? #RoyalReparations

    Just how much terror, violence and sadism that the British (including Scots) used in gaining and maintaining their territories is a matter of records, even if the Empire tried to burn most of the evidence. The Conservatives foment culture wars at their peril, and histories outside their control are only going to impinge more strongly. I await the 24-part BBC history of the British Parliament, working title The Great Corruption.

    As for Mordaunt’s tweet? I take it was intended as a threat. Know thy place. Dissing. And yes, a flavour of how the pathology of militarism infects casual language and views, I guess.

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