According to John Major we can’t decide our own government in Scotland because we’d lose boyband One Direction.
Speaking yesterday before a House of Lords committee, the 70-year-old former PM and dashing lothario John Major cited One Direction as one of the British exports which help give the country an enviable standing across the world. Downton Abbey plus Adele and Susan Boyle were also on his list of cultural successes which “reflect a rather favourable impression on Britain”. Alongside language, democracy, the rule of law, the monarchy, the BBC, the Financial Times and the City of London as a financial centre, they had helped create an unrivaled profile, he suggested.
Does anyone think it’s just a little bit insulting to, well the rest of the world to suggest that other places don’t enjoy ‘language’ ‘democracy’ the ‘rule of law’? It’s a kind of monstrous Anglocentric worldview dumped on the rest of us dressed up as thinking. It shows a complete hermetically sealed oblivion to the obvious crisis of policing, due process and state illegality that Britain has suffered in recent years and a bizarre and relentless deference to the institutions of finance that dominate our economics. No surprise.
Nor is it surprising that the idea of a ‘favourable impression of Britain’ is that cast up in Downtown Abbey by Julian Alexander Kitchener-Fellowes, Baron Fellowes of West Stafford DL (Conservative member of the House of Lords), where aristocratic values and a virtual cast system are championed.
But what’s really annoying about Major’s havering is that we bloody well invented boybands. Crank up the volume and get your Shang-a-Lang on … it’s Rollers for Indy time!