I Shall Vote No
[After Christopher Logue, I Shall Vote Labour (1966)]
I shall vote No because, without Westminster, We’d never have got rid of the Poll Tax
I shall vote No because eight hundred thousand Scots live in England, and there are no jobs here to match their talents and meet their aspirations
I shall vote No, because my grandmother was a MacDougall
I shall vote No in case Shell and BP leave and take their oil with them
I shall vote No because otherwise we would have to give back the pandas
I shall vote No because I am feart
I shall vote No because the people who promised us a better deal if we voted No in 79, and warned us of the dire consequences of devolution in 97, tell us we should
I shall vote No so as not to let down my fellow socialists in Billericay and Basildon
and
I shall vote No, because if we got rid of Trident and stopped taking part in illegal wars we would be a target for terrorism
I shall vote No because if I lived under a government that listened to me and had policies I agreed with, I wouldn’t feel British
I shall vote No because the RAF will bomb our airports if we are a separate country
I shall vote No because to vote Yes dishonours the Dead of the Great War, who laid down their lives for the rights of small nations
I shall vote No, lest being cut off from England turns Red Leicester cheese and Lincolnshire sausages into unobtainable foreign delicacies, like croissants, or bananas
I shall vote No, because, as a progressive, I have more in common with Billy Bragg or Tariq Ali, who aren’t Scottish, than some toff like Lord Forsyth, who is.
I shall vote No, because the certainty of billions of pounds worth of spending cuts to come is preferable to the uncertainty of wealth
I shall vote No, because it is blindingly obvious that Scotlands voice at the UN, and other international bodies, will be much diminished if we are a member-state
I shall vote No because having a parliament with no real power, and another which is run by people we didnt vote for, is the best of both worlds
I shall vote No because I trust and admire Nick Clegg, who is promising us Federalism when the Liberals return to office
I shall vote No, because Emma Thompson would vote No, and her Dad did The Magic Roundabout
I shall vote No, because A.C. Grayling would vote No,and his Mum was born on Burns Night
I shall vote No because David Bowie asked Kate Moss to tell us to, and he lives in New York and used to be famous
I shall vote No, because nobody ever asks me what I think
I shall vote No, because a triple-A credit rating is vital in the modern world
I shall vote No because things are just fine as they are
I shall vote No because the English say they love us,
and that if we vote Yes, they will wreck our economy.
SCOTLAND
is intense testaments
is crock at the beginning
is governed for good and ill
is the narrowest and biggest
is a grand place and getting grander
is entering an exciting new phase
is great, ye know
is a network of
is a division of Mary Queen of Scots, Inc
is a totally branded experience
is a smokie dilemma talking wireless technology
is helping to run up a huge overdraft of who cares
is a land
is welfare
is at heart of you-wee debates
is the road not to take
is leading the way
is already there
is location
is choice
is a land of kailyards and kings
is de Brus and the spider from Mars, whit
is the department of the scabby face
is available for parties
is available for functions
is home to the snaggletooth
is not for the squeamish
is around at 5 but maybe not at 7
is essential to the nominal
is a directory see above
is complete without planet charters
is incredibly strict with pingpong players
is scheduled as usual for a government budget
is an exclusive country house
is Walter Scott flaying a harp
is a librarian
is ideal for watching
is coming
is the sewing machine
is the umbrella
is the coatstand
is the ironing board
is gathering its skirts
is a prude descending a staircase
is the pan drop
is scandal sheet
is pagan
is PAGAN, says kirk
is saying Thursday December 14
is saying Thursday January 25
is now the definitive source of information
is a joint
is patchwork
is needle
is set to lead the world by Thursday
is a network of young people
is to promote cheese
is charity of the year
is a land ok by Steve
is a mooth smooched by Donna
is a company limited
is nil-nil at half time
is a haven for runts
is wide open and waiting
is generally of hairier quality
is the wet dream of Kirkcaldy
is that all there is then? I left in 1979
is a country in the northern part of the island of great Britain
is the sick shuggie of europe
is very much kicking
is a steamer’s dream
is the constitution class starship Guardian Wallace
is the original region of The Invincible Bam
is an illegal download
is shrinking
is the intermediary
is the ideal bargain basement
is delighted to have the opportunity
is what is the aye is naw antisyzygy or somethin
is an evangelical
is home to the dolphins
is indeed a land
is overdue for defrag
is steeped in halfcut history
is a very romantic setting for the small
is Burns with a handful of posy, nice
is the full creamy pint
is of course scenery
is the biggest natural difference
is not concerned with protection
is called by no one “Stickit Street”
is designed and maintained by Bonnie Prince Charlie
is the home of the Long Swally
is a cognoscente of strong tobaccos
is provided for your personal and non-exclusive
is developed and tested on pirate software
is about the size of the state of south Carolina
is a sign of fur
is pathos
is bathos
is gritty realism
is pawky poetry
is a box of broken bits
is oil that is the gas, an auld sang
is desperately seeking solder
is
is the
is that
is all there is?
is inconclusion
Hey thanks for this – this is great
Sad isn’t it, as I wander about sweeping peoples chimneys the “foreign” people ( there are many of them in Aberdeen) just can’t understand why anyone would vote NO, they can’t see any way possible of that happening, ” why wouldn’t you want to run your own country, it doesn’t make sense” were the words of a Dutch customer.
On the positive side I would estimate that well over 30% of my English customers are voting YES and that’s something my English YES voting wife finds heartening.
My Polish wife is also voting yes
Tak tak tak, dobra!
I will vote no because I want my daughter to live in fear of ill health and poverty.
may she be offered dunvegan as council housing
Reblogged this on pictishbeastie.
If Westminster were to become, overnight, the most generous and caring centre of Government in the world
I would still vote YES
If England were to discover millions of tons of gold in every county with silver and diamonds lying beside it
I would still vote YES.
If England were to flow with rivers of clear soft water, teeming with salmon and sea trout and fish of every kind
I’d still vote YES.
If Westminster got down on it’s knees and confessed it’s every misdeed against the Scots and made sincere apology with full and generous compensation
I would still vote YES.
I won’t go on.
Independence is not about being better or worse off.
It’s about SELF-DETERMINATION in all things Scottish.
The No campaign will NEVER agree to that wish.
I’m voting Yes – my self respect demands it.
wonderful!!
Interesting dialogue Jan, but there’s something very important for you to remember. It’s the English who are giving you the opportunity to self determine your future. I think you’re confusing self respect with a total lack of respect for those who want to remain in the union.
Ha.. I like it .. “the English are giving you the opportunity to self determination”… Funny that I thought this was a basic human right that couldn’t be given and should never be taken either…
I respect everyone’s right to self determination and if the majority want to stay with the UK then so be it.. I can always leave! Similarly if there is a Yes vote anyone who wants to stay in the UK can also leave, if they wish. What I have no respect for is the English establishment who feel that Scots should be thankful that they are so gracious to give us the right to determine our own destiny!
BTW.. I live in Dundee, I am a Scot… I was born and lived in England for half of my life so I have nothing against the English at all.. but comments like Roberts remind me why I feel more Scottish than English and why ‘Yes’ is the only Logical choice for this modern, rich and dynamic society that is Scotland!
“It’s the English who are giving you the opportunity to self determine your future.”
Have you ANY IDEA AT ALL just how insufferably patronising that sounds?
How refreshing to see that after all the ‘SCARES’ we still retain our droll sense of humour. Keep them coming.
Auld Rock
Auld Rock, I agree that a sense of humour does help but …..!!
The ‘scare’ stories are so pervasive and repeated again and again in newspapers, on newspaper bill boards on our high streets, on the radio and TV. Of course we can find ‘comfort’ in pro-yes company that they are ridiculous in so many ways and are often easily refuted.
But it is their ‘impact’ on the views of the wider electorate that is important here.
It is the partial nature of the MSM’s coverage of the issues that is the greatest risk to achieving a yes majority in September. We should not underestimate the negative effects of these scares reported by media organisations that many voters may still regard as authoritative.
The No campaign has no alternative to its own Project Fear; It’s only hope is the manipulation of the fearful.
“Timendi causa est nescire –
Ignorance is the cause of fear.”
― Seneca,
Seek the knowledge and vote Yes.
Some of these are more articulate reasons for voting No than we usually hear from No voters
Someone should do Charles Bukowskis Roll the Dice
if you’re going to be a nation, go all the
way.
otherwise, don’t even start.
if you’re going to be a country, go all the
way.
this could mean losing global influence,
a place in the EU, some bankers, insurance companies and
maybe Michelle Mone etc etc
jimmy why da we need a bloody place in the eu were daft enough having ta pay oor share through our neighbours south o the border who pay 165 billion pounds a year for a bunch o parasites ta sit roon a table ,only ta sign treatys selling parts o our country away traitors ? So why should ye think a seat in the eu is good de ye na ken its gan ta cost scotland as a country 100 billion a year or 35 million a day jist fer membership , na jimmy oor tax payers cash can ba used a million times better on our own country by ourselves , not by the germans and fools like clegg urging us ta stay in the union and get bogged doon mare and mare every day, over 10 years we westminster our debt is risen ta 1 and a half trillion quid how could this happen , how did these politicans managed ta occur this mind boggling sum they blame banks recession every bloddy thing but there own bampot ideas human rights ludicrous payouts ETC VOTE YES BUT RUN OUR OWN AFFAIRS NOT BY THE EU CLOWNS ???
Sure Walte, the EU has its problems but perhaps he would enlighten us all with what would he replace it, EFTA? If you are suggesting that we go totally alone how do you think our vital agriculture and fisheries exports will get on, do you think that it will be without regulation? Many Norwegians complain that they have to follow EU Regulations and pay for the privilege but they have no vote on what new rules are to be imposed.
Auld Rock
Dare to talk as if you’re living in a better country as Alistair Gray says. This opportunity is so precious; a defining moment in history. It’s the journey of hope and well overdue. Time to let go of the fear mantra and show the world what a decent country can achieve when the people have a say in their future. The perfect year too with all the military memories being evoked while the wars still rage. Surely Scotland will do it differently just as they so often have.
Reblogged this on chunkyfunkymunky.
Love it. Apart from that penultimate line – surely this is about Westminster rule rather than ‘the English’?
Oh dear.
“I shall vote No because, without Westminster, We’d never have got rid of the Poll Tax”
Without westminster, we’d never have had poll tax in the first place.
I could respond to the others, but starting that pathetically poorly doesn’y give me hope.
Oh dear!!
I agree – oh dear!!
I suppose the irony sits next to the teapoty in his house.
Oh dearie dearie me.
Switches on irony meter and gets the gag :-/
Great reasons. I would add –
I’m afraid I won’t be able to watch Manchester United.
They’ll take ‘their’ BBC, ‘their’ £, ‘their’ everything else whose name begins with British because British is an English word!!
Reblogged this on The African Patriotic Front .
I might vote NO if D Heil Heffer came to Scotland and walked around for a week carrying a placard saying “I lied, The English are the subsidy junkies not the Scots.”
And I’ll certainly vote NO if BBC threatens to stop broadcasting news and pics of England and the World Cup if we vote YES.