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16224346396A Guid New Year tae ye! And a new year challenge tae ye and aw.

We here at the Scots bittie o Bella Caledonia cordially invite ye tae render the Scots language that’s in yer heid, hert and mooth intae prose and tae reflect in the Mither Tongue in ony wey ye wish on this bonnie birkie eemis stane o a planet.

Mibbe ye awready write in Scots. If ye dae, gie’s yer thochts on the kittlie fashious issues o the day. Tell us whit’s gettin on yer wick and up yer neb in guid braid scrievit Scots.

But mibbe ye’ve no written in Scots afore. Mibbe it’s never crossed yer mind. But if Scots is a pairt o ye, yin wey tae care for it and gie it meanin is tae write in it.

But it’s nae blame if ye havenae. There micht be reasons for that. There’s yer education for a stert.

Likely ye didnae learn how tae write in Scots at the schuil. Mibbe ye learned a poem by Rabbie, mibbe there wis a teacher that telt ye a bit aboot Scots and its history. Mibbe ye got thumped for speakin it. William McIvanney kent aw aboot it.

‘”What’s wrong with your face, Docherty?”
“Skint ma nose, sur.”
“Ah fell an bumped ma nose in the sheuch, sur.”
“I beg your pardon?”

In the pause, Conn understands the nature of the choice, tremblingly, compulsively, makes it.

“Ah fell an bumped ma heid in the sheuch, sur.”

The blow is instant. His ear seems to enlarge, is muffled in numbness. But it is only the dread of tears that hurts. Mr Pirrie distends on a lozenge of light which mustn’t be allowed to break.

It doesn’t. Conn hasn’t cried.

“That, Docherty, is impertinence. You will translate, please, into the mother-tongue…”
“I’m waiting, Docherty. What happened?”
“I bumped my head, sir.”
“Where? Where did you bump it, Docherty?”
“In the gutter, sir.”
“Not an inappropriate setting for you, if I may say so.”‘

If it’s been a sair enough fecht juist speakin Scots in Scotland, writin it is even sairer. I went through the same as a lot o ma generation at the schule – the confusion, the beltin, the anxiety. It led me at first tae hate masel for speakin Scots and then tae reject that sel-loathin by stertin tae write in it. I suppose I wis tryin tae find a wey tae mak ma language real tae me. Folk telt me at ivry step whit I wis daein wis wrang, a waste o time. It didnae seem tae maitter tae them when I said it wis richt for me. But it wis.

Naebody has tae write in Scots as doesnae want tae. But accordin tae the 2011 Census, a third o us claim tae speak it.

Schules is different noo tae. Giein credit whaur credit’s due, the Scottish Government hae pit in place a wheen positive initiatives that are helpin tae raise the leid’s profile. But when pushed, even they admit they could be daein a lot mair.

As a Scots author veesitin schules and communities, I’ve come across hunners o bairns and adults wi stories tae tell o bullyin and abuse for speakin their mither tongue. A lass reduced tae tears by her heid teacher  shoutin at her that she’ll ‘never amount to anything in life’. A lad refused by his English teachers his request for classes aboot Scots because it is ‘not a language, it is common slang’. Ootside schule, kids telt by adults tae speak ‘posh’ and tae no speak like ‘junkies’.  Interviewers privately admittin tae rejectin viable job applicants because they were Scots speakers. Ma venerable Bella colleague, Billy Kay, bein telt in the comments section o this wabsite that the Scots language is ‘pish’.

Explorin oor Scots sels by writin in this bonnie broukit leid micht juist hae a personal therapeutic value and a national ane as weel.

Sae how dae ye write in Scots? Weel, ye juist write in it. There is nae set wey o spellin or standard Scots. The language has been dunted that mony times it has never been alloued tae develop ane/yin/een/wan. There’s a nummer o dialects. Chose the ane that’s closest tae yer hert or yer experience and wark wi that. Look for examples o Scots writin. They’re no hard tae find. See whit’s awready here on Bella. And juist write. Juist scrieve. Say whit’s in yer heid and hert and say it in Scots.

The mair we write in Scots, the harder it’ll be for ithers tae say it’s pish. The mair Scots is written doon, the mair articles and comment folk see in Scots, the mair shilpit the cringe will be. And that fundamental pairt o us will be less unco and alien in the country whaur it’s ane o oor mither tongues.

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  1. Thomas Widmann says:

    The majoritie o Scots speakers is like the anes ye describe here, an A gree wi ilka wird ye wrate anent the suppression o Scots. It’s a national disgrace!

    Houaniver, thair’s a few fowks wha haes lairnt Scots as a fremmit leid (aiblins efter flittin tae Scotland). A’m ane o thaim. A’m a native speaker o Dens, an at first it was a sair fecht tae unnerstaun fowks speakin tae me in Scots, but ower the years A hae ettled tae lairn the auld leid o Lawlands Scotland. O course, fowks like me canna uise introspection whan we write Scots – we maun uise dictionars an grammars an aw!

    1. Hamish says:

      It’s aye struck me that tae yaise the dictionary an thesaurus when scrievan English is considert learnit an judicious, whiles yaisin the Scots dictionary can be frowned upon as fouterie or contrived. Granted ther are complexities wi dialects an contexts but A think Matthew hits the nail on the heid bi shawn that nae set rules hae really existed for Scots. This fact wis bein lamentit bi a sympathetic Glesga prentir as faur back as the early 19th c when owresettin a poem in Scots. But be assured – A think due tae the lang-staunin deficit in recognised status means that maist folk writin in Scots, includin native speakers, wid admit tae frequent resort tae the Scots Dictionary, whither for exploration or confirmation.

  2. C Rober says:

    The cringe is the problem , I dinny really speak anyhin else at hame , but in busniess huv tae speak lik a huv baws in a mouf in ordir tae converse wi the clientele.

    The wife though when she hus seen the “common” speak on the likes of e news canny understawn them bin interviewed , which is the reason why I assume everytime somehin happens in Scotland it seems to be inhabitted by english fowlk , or they ur in cherge of every official body in Scotland fae the erts tae the fitba.

    1. Alf Baird says:

      “they ur in cherge of every official body in Scotland fae the erts tae the fitba.”

      Thons whit we end up wi efter we edvertise a’ the heid yin joabs (£100k plus) in Lundin, an ye get a 10:1 ratio o’ epplicants fir a’ thae heid joabs, wi a Scot mibbe makin up the yin! We dinnae edvertise in Lundin fir fowk tae scrub oor flairs, or gaither rubbish, naw, jist fir the big money joabs wi gie awa tae the braw sprachin educated fowk fi sooth, an we dae a’ the wee stuff oorsels. Thon fowk ken whit their daein, efter a, an we huvnae a scoobie. How cud we iver run oor ane quangos, civil service, kulture an erts, NHS, Universities, or even be the CEO o’ the Scots Perliment, an a’thing else, aye fitba an a’. It jist widnae work, wid it. We’re jist fer too stupit. We need thon thoosands of heid yins fi sooth tae run a’ wir big institushuns fir us.

      Or more likely we are just bloody naive.

      1. greatbighoo says:

        “Or more likely we are just bloody naive”

        Yes, you are very naive.

        How do you propose to ‘prevent’ people from the ‘sooth’ and ‘Londin’ from applying for and successfully securing employment positions, in favour of people from Scotland?

        Are you closing the borders?

        How would that work as members of the EU (everyone in Scotland is a Europhile, apparently)?

        Or in a Globalised world?

        Or is it ‘socialism in one country’ are proposing?

        Good luck with that. Bitter, angry weirdos.

        1. Alf Baird says:

          Danes dinnae edvertise a’ their heid joabs in Berlin. Malta disnae edvertise a’ its heid joabs in Rome. An a dinnae think Ireland edvertises a’ its heid jaobs in Lundin nae mair. They a’ seem tae dae a’richt. They lift up their ane fowk, an their a’ in the EU.

          1. greatbighoo says:

            All of those places are in different countries.

            Glasgow, Edinburgh and London are in the same country. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

            Scotland and England are the same country.

            You had a vote about it to decide last year. Remember?

            And Scotland voted, conclusively, to remain part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

          2. Jim McWilliam says:

            Himmin, greatbighoo, Scotland is a country an it is in a “Union” wi anither twa countries an a province. At’s fit the UK is. Jist cuz we voted tae stay in the union disnae mean Scotland’s nae a country. Jist hae a gander at I EU. Nane o them are their ane countries? Course they are.

            As fur spikin ma ane mither tongue, a dae it every day but only wi ither Scot lied spikkers. A wis aywis telt nae tae spik it at scuil cuz it wiz “common”. A think its a guid idea tae hae a puckle Doric ivery day.

        2. Aileen says:

          It disnae tak much tae get the white maisters mad when the slaves stert tae talk revolt, dis it? Except, of course, the only wey they’re maisters is in their ain heids an’ weel they ken it, tae. Which is why they get in such a stooshie when somethin maks this plain for ony een tae see. If the argument that English folk are mair likely tae git toap joabs up here because of sheer weight o numbers wis wrang then there’d be a better wey tae respond tae it than vulgar, hate-filled abuse. An they say we Scots ur abrasive! Whit wis the point o descending tae insults in whit wis jist an intrestin discussion? If it wis intendit tae show condescendin superiority it failed, spectacularly. It jist looked petty, spitefu an scared. Scared, mibbe, that the argument wis sound, an suggestit that too monny English high heid yins in Scotland were only in their joabs because of weight of number of applicants. Onybuddy else here wundrin whit wis his reason fur gettin sae mad?

          1. Francis says:

            @ greatbighoo

            Aye pal, keep tellin yersel tha, yie dinnae ken yer unions constitution bi the sound o it. Yer maisters ur kechin thur breeks n ye n aw bi yer screivin.

            Troll on dunderheid

        3. ambrose (@Tdrinker2) says:

          Na afense greatweenoo, Yoo sound like a branewashed FUD, frae wan eh em angry weirdo’s.

      2. Aileen says:

        Ah’d oftin noticed hoo mony English folk seem tae aye be the spokes folk fur ony big organisation up here, an’ couldnae unnerstaun why that should be. But yer right! Ah hudnae thocht aboot it till ye made yer point but the population ratio means ye kin awmost gairuntie thit mair English folk thin Scots wull be applyin fur toap joabs if they’re advertised doon sooth. Stauns tae reason, but Ah hudnae seen it till ye piontit it oot. Time we realised that if we’re coanstantly exportin oor ain folk tae ither pairts o’ the warld tae run their companies then we’ve shairly goat the talent here tae rin oor ain, an nae need tae go lookin elsewhere. Ah dinnae mind English folk comin up here — ah’m mairrit tae an Englishman, mah weans were a’ born doon there, yet the hale loat o’ them moved up here as fast as they could when they could — but Ah’d like tae see Scots folk gettin’ a fair chaunce o’ the best jobs. Mebbe the best notion wid be tae weight ivry short leat so that Scots, native or adopted, were seen as hivin an extra qualification by livin here alreadies? If we cannae claim racial discrimination when it warks agin us on the groonds that, unlike the Irish, appairently we’re no legally a separate racial group, then naebuddy kin stoap us giein wan o oor ain a leg up just fur bein Scoats. Ay, no?

        1. Alf Baird says:

          Aye, Aileen, ye’ve hut the nail on the heid, hen.

        2. Alf Baird says:

          In maist kuntries a condishun o’ applyin fir heid joabs is tae huv a guid unnerstannin o’ the indigenous language o’ the kuntrie whaur the joab is. An Italian spikker wid need to spik French tae tak a heid yins joab in France. A Flemish spikker wid need tae spik German tae tak a heid yins joab in Germany. A Dane wid need to spik Polish tae tak a heid yins joab in Poland. An so on.

          Aa we hae tae dae is mak Scots language the official indigenous language, an gie it equal status wi Englis. Just like Gaelic haes official, equal status wi englis though the passin o’ the Gaelic Language (Scotland) Act 2005 ! An fowk takin heid joabs hier wid huv to spik Englis and Scots (or Gaelic). They’d mibbe even huv tae get a Scots language certificate. Jist noo, their no really qualified tae heid up a’ oor institushuns becaus they dinnae hae the Scots leid. Bit maist Scots spik Scots, an Englis!

    2. Francis says:

      Dinnae dool aboot English n wuark, its the business international language cos its the easiest tae ken. Bisnis aboot communication, it hame awbody taks in thir ain leid. Bit dinnae tell the Brit elite tha its the easiest tae ken, they wid tak affense.

  3. Jamie Fairbairn says:

    A leids hae a time o flexibility an creativity afore gettin shackled doon bi convention. Are we nae lucky tae be sae free wi wer ain tongue e noo? Fa says we hae tae dae the same wi Scots as has been deen wi English – dae we need tae follow at model? Is it written in steen? Could the dialecks nae hae mair say? Wid that nae foster unnerstanin atween a airts an pairts o the country? Bairns at scweel fair enjoy bein creative wi their ain dialeck, but are happy tae hae a shotty wi ithers an aa.

  4. Alan says:

    “There is nae set wey o spellin or standard Scots.” Ay! but whit thare is, is leeterar tradeetion that uised presteegious spellin coventions, mony cairit ower frae Aulder Scots. That’s weel described in William Grant an James Main Dixon’s 1921 Manual of Modern Scots. Ye’re richt the “language has been dunted that mony times” by fowk threapin thare’s “nae set wey o spellin or standard Scots” whan aw alang we haed a fairly homogenous pan-dialect written cultur.

    The affcome on thon wey o thinkin is that ‘yin’, ‘een’ and ‘wan’ ISNA juist weys o pronuncin the leeterar staundart ‘ane’. Efter aw, in English, ‘one’ is niver pronunced tae rhyme wi ‘bone’ an naebody iver gies it a thocht.

    Mebbes ae day fowk will realise that ye can write ‘ane’ an read it ‘yin’, ‘een’ and ‘wan’ an aw.

    1. Clive P L Young says:

      Ye’r richt the leeterar tradeetion is weel described in William Grant an James Main Dixon’s 1921 Manual of Modern Scots. In fact thon buik is the foondation o maist modren Scots grammars.

      Ye can get at it (free) at https://archive.org/details/manualofmodernsc00granuoft
      Onibodie writin Scots or repeatin the ‘nae standards’ haivers shud hae a swatch o’t.

      Anither detailed description o modern Scots worth doonloadin is Andrew Bergs’ Modern Scots, an updatin o MMS wi mair modren research.

      (free a aw, ye hae tae sign up tae academia.edu but thon’s nae biggie)

  5. greatbighoo says:

    This is a bit like getting a tattoo, isn’t it?

    Aren’t you ‘different’.

      1. Brian Fleming says:

        Short and tae the point, Hamish. I like it.

  6. Clive P L Young says:

    Weel, freens, ye’ll be needing a guid, modren grammar fur aw that writin.
    Try oot the free
    Scots Learners’ Grammar (2013) PDF 1.1 MB

    or the wab vairsion
    Get tore in.

    1. Jim says:

      Ye could hae gien this ane a mention an aw.


  7. Deik Fraser says:

    Yin eh ma first mindins, is realising thit the folk oan the telly didnae soond like ony eh the folk aroon abuit me. Even the Scots yins on the boax.
    Then, yince ah stertit the skill, the best wey tae get attention fae the teacher wis tae yase the leid she yased, chynge the wey the soonds came oot yer mooth, drap wurds thit brocht condescension or the rip oot ye “Really, it’s not “fourk” it’s “fawrk” wi a smirk.
    Efter a while,ah came tae think thit juist the fact a gadge yased standard Inglish gied thaem intelligence.
    This led tae the thocht thit mibbe ma faimly, an espesially the aulder yins wir uneducatit, an that pit in place ah disconnect ah regret tae this day, as thir wis naeb’dy tae say ony different.
    Bi the time ah goat tae high skill aw the leid graith hid been pit in place, an aw thit remained tae be din wis the removal eh the last wirds ah thocht wir Inglish, likesy “forbye” or “reishle”.
    Sae bi the tyme ah wis seevinteen ma Scots wis awa, or so ah thocht. Whit hid been carefully dichtit fae ma harns wis still hale, an thair tae be waukined.

    1. Matthew Fitt says:

      Deik, gled tae ken ye werenae linguistically dichtit. I like yer style and whit ye’ve scrievit here…

    2. Alf Baird says:

      “realising thit the folk oan the telly didnae soond like ony eh the folk aroon abuit me”

      Dinnae ferget radio an a’, Deik. This mornin’s BBC Radio Scotland prog wi Stephen Jardine must huv hae aboot a dozen experts oan, jist aboot a’ wi English accents. A thocht a wis in a foreign kuntry. Ir nane o’ wir experts Scots ony mair? Brewer’s comin oan noo – bools in i’s mooth – welcome tae Bathgate! An the kulture Meenister tae.

      1. Francis says:

        Aye Alfie, noticed masel mare oan BBC, n no jist “experts” but oardinry fowlk n aw gitin speared ur wie English brogue. The BBC tellin us wur no here?

  8. Jim McWilliam says:

    An here’s a wee Doric joke fur ye:

    Twa coos in a park, fich ane’s on holiday?

    The ane wi the wee calf!

    1. C Rober says:

      Class , i huve used that wan a few times , and hud tae explain it tae the wife , didnay get it. Often hus to esk me aboot the broons , Like I kin speek dundee and Eberdeen!

      Same wummin wance askt mi why i speak “common” wan minnit in company , and in phone call to clients with the Queens ain?

      My answer , “efter over 300 hunner years of being pished on in the English language for being Scots I wish to do as much damage back”. It also works in ma favour when it is always assumed , or is it presumed , that I am an uneducated ned , just like how those that silver spoon talkers are always presumed to be our superiors intellectually and is just as far from the truth.

      1. Francis says:

        Fit fit, fits fit fit?

  9. ambrose (@Tdrinker2) says:

    A thot a wis dain it ow wrang cos iv no go a dicshinry,, but a aywys wantet urra wans tae rite in er ain dialect so a cood ges were eh wer frum. Majin, Eberdeen, Boarders, Glesga east, Glesga west, Ershir, Embra east, Embra west, an eh heilenders, ow difrint yooneek accents, how cool wood atbe?

  10. Ramstam says:

    Guid tae see aw the comments, an braw that we nou hae a forum tae tak forrit the case for Scots.
    Houiver we winna get onywhaur withoot a standart written Scots.
    This wadna dae doun ony o the local by-leids it wad juist mean we cuid aw unite tae praisent the case that Scots is mair nor “juist the wey we speak”.
    It’s shairly an orra thing that efter 1.6 million said “we speik Scots” in the census naethin haes been duin tae forder the leid amang thir folk wha are aw adults. The bairns are mibbe haein a bit Scots lairnt tae thaim
    but thair mithers an faithers are tae be ignored.
    We mibbe need tae hae a bit collogue on spellins tae. I dinna scrieve phonetically in ma ain local Scots. There’s sae muckle we can tak frae the past, tho we’ve aye got tae keep oorsels onside wi the ordinar Scots speikers oot there in the real warld. Matthew, I bid ye aw success wi yer scrievins for the “National”.
    The bairns in oor faimly still read yer buiks! Mair pouer tae yer pen.

  11. Reid Wyllie says:

    Ah’ve been tryin tae write in Scots fur mair than thirty year. Some folk like it, some jist dinnae. Noo, Ah write aw mah texts in Scots. This has twa benefits:
    wan – Ah get tae practice evry day.
    twa – some ae mah freins noo write thur texts in Scots, tae.
    That said, Ah dae think wan ae the hings haudin us back is the lack ae some kin ae standartisit spellin. If yer a yasur ae Microsoft Word ye can hae a wee luik an see that they hae a hale rake ae differnt weys ae spellcheckin fur the differnt regional dialects ae Suomi, the native tongue in Finland. An fur Scots? No’ a single wan. Why no’?
    Ye say we dinnae want tae be strachjaikitit wi wur spellin. But, lik the Finns, thurs nae reason we cudnae hae twa or three differnt standart versions ae Scots. Mibbe thon’s the wey furrit fur us. In this modern wurld, if folk see it on Microsoft mibbe they’ll stert tae see as a real hing.

    1. C Rober says:

      haha am ra same , been dain it since sms was by button mashing , same wi skelptbook.

  12. Reid Wyllie says:

    PS This is mah faivrit online resource fur helpin me wi mah effurts:
    Gie it a wee shoaty. It’s richt braw

  13. Jackie says:

    Ah’ve nivver tried tae write as ah speak before but now ah want tae. Thankye fur thae links Clive. Cannae wait tae get tore intae the grammar an aw thae bonny, bonny wurds, new anes an forgotten anes. Ah nivver had ower much Scots in the furst place – baith ma pairints hud Ingish as a secind lauguige, efter Gaelic an French, so they hud learnt ‘proper English’, an then the auld familiar story at schule – jist sayin ‘aye’ wis considert deliberate an gross impertinence. Only the ‘bad boys’ dared an only when they wur feelin gallus; the rest o’ us wuid luik on wi awe at the scene buildin tae its inevitable conclusion o a guid beltin. Mind we did huv an annual Burns recitin competition but that wis jist a sort o memory test, an we wurnae tae learn whit ony o it ment or gie it any thocht.

    Ah think people like me need a standardised spellin jist tae gie us a start. An it wud make it aw merr official like tae.

    Ah’ve aye noticed how many wurds we huv that seem tae come fae France – corbie/corbeau, tae plank/planquer an broo/bureau are the wans that come aff the tap o’ ma hied. An ah’ve aye wondered if the wey we say ‘how’ fur ‘why’ in Glasgow is fae the French? Ah expec there must be a lot fae Germany an ither places tae, leid fur a start – it wid be interestin tae be educatit in these things.

    1. C Rober says:

      e french hing wis easy sorted , there was a time in it wis spoke as common an educated alike. eres still many aulder fowk frae dundee , edinbur and even eberdeen at still use at least the aucashinal wurd like pomme for totties , an eres me hinkin it was an epple. Ither toons tae huv some words of the irish as well as french , and ur inique almost to generational and street , Paisley , Greenock words ur fair different in Scots fur e same hing.

      Even the scots word bonnie can be atributed tae the Latin and French.The bagpipes tae greece and even china , tartan tae france , golf tae china , eres naw much left tae call scots ere an a wee bit e pomme on oor shooder.

  14. Jim Fleming says:

    Whit a braw piece o screivin, gien us muckle tae think aboot. Ah like fine the notion that awbody wha wants tae, shud jist write Scots as they micht speak it – daein whit comes naiturally, I daursay. But in the lang term, fur Scots ever tae win back its auld status as a richt national leid, ah jalouse it wad be faur better tae hae some kind o national staundard for spellin, grammar an punctuation, e’en tho wi differs fur parteeclar airts. Mebbes it cud be a darg fur the government, tae gaither a wheen o experts an interested buddies to mak up a committee that cud come up wi a plan.

    1. Alf Baird says:

      Jim, the Scots leid plan/policie is here:

      Thon policie jist nivver gote implimintit! The scriever o’ this erticle is yin o’ the panel o’ experts.

      Ower tae youse Meenisters, git stertet! Scots (Language) Act 2016?

      A widnae haud ma braith! Ae day mibbe.

      1. Jim Fleming says:

        Thanks fur the guid advice Alf

      1. Jim Fleming says:

        Thanks fur lettin me ken Jim

  15. Francis says:

    Whit numpty cried Scots pish? Thu no ken English brogue is piss? Thur takin thur mither tongue n no kenin.

    1. ambrose (@Tdrinker2) says:

      Ah dinnae rite , tae be contrite
      ur even evir red
      eze feldsa mind thit ah kin find
      as a ly in ma bed
      a huv ma ails, lik wintir sails
      ah fold massel awey
      tae be reborn oan summers morn
      jist tae wok eh sunshine day
      ah, bit ine eh dark, a win’r stark
      wer lonlay flooirs grow
      hiy oan hill, eh feel eh thril
      caressed bae wind and snaw
      a part a wurd oantae eh paje
      anurra er tae link
      it looks cwite meeninliss eh no
      aw wite wae bloo a ink
      inna seek nae flatter, is bloo ink sketters
      simbils foarm inside
      a rite eh doon altho a froon
      as they tak me furra ryd
      a see eh ails a earth n whales
      bit hoo um a tae rite
      far richir men wae gold n jem
      shid olsa huv foar site
      a brek eh line a thoosint times
      a wach it twist en turn
      forst tae dae ma bibbin es
      ma hert is forst tae burn
      bit burn it must, wi luv n lust
      es awl amoshins reel
      tae mak a pen flo noo n en
      jist tae wach eh ink kinjeel
      ah, bit dae wurds last, bathe noo n past
      in poitry, songs ur plays
      as men a spyte think, the’ve goat eh rite
      fer, mither earth tae rape
      ur shooda rite a things mer brite
      reflectin in ma eye
      an pit a cheer in ivry eer
      a ivry passirby
      a smile furra smile en oany place
      mich mer thin ritten wurd
      a shake eh a hon, or a wink ae an eye
      maks langwich sound absurd
      ah bit many oors a wiled awey
      oan story, plays n prose
      n freens av fund oan page prafuond
      ur so eh story goes
      ur freens fur life, who dinnae contrive
      tae steal ma very soul
      bit lift eh clouds a misted clouds
      jit tae watch eh wurlds unfold.

  16. Ramstam says:

    How isna juist a Glescae wurd for
    “Why”It’s yaised ower maist o Scotland alang wi gallus that folk say is juist a weegie wurd.
    This happens whan folk frae ae airt mibbe dinna hae muckle contack wi folk frae anither.
    A wurd we aye yaised in Leith wis “Dinna lat mint”meanin “Dinna mention” I aye laugh whan the TV an Radio discuss Scots, hou they canna see past wurds sic as dreich an scunner an even then juist as add-ons tae the Inglish leid. Aye, there’s a lang road aheid o us. Lat’s get yokit!

  17. Clive P L Young says:

    Mind there a guid-gaun an richt gleg Facebook curn “Scots Language Forum” if youse guid fowk are interestit. Worth jinin Facebook jist for thon!

  18. Jim Fleming says:

    Sorry fur the length o this poem but i thocht it wis a knackie sum-up o oor problem.

    Is a dove a doo Dad
    Is a doo a dove
    Is a cow a coo Dad
    A sparrow jist a spyug
    And is a wall a waw Dad
    Is a dog a dug
    She’s gonnae warm ma ear Dad
    Instead o’ skelp ma lug.

    Ma teacher’s awfy posh Dad
    She changes aw oor names
    Wee Shuggie now is Hugh Dad
    And Jimmy’s ayeways James
    Ah’m scunnered wi’ it aw Dad
    The way she shoogles words
    Ah must be glaickit no ‘tae ken
    That feathered friends are burds.

    Ye learnt me aw wrong Dad
    Ye cawd a ball a baw
    Your wife is now my Mother
    You said it wis ma Maw
    Ah’m no share hoo tae spell Dad
    Ah’ll niver pass ma test
    Whit is this ah’m wearin’ Dad
    A simmet or a vest?

    Ah gave ma nose a dicht Dad
    When it began tae dreep
    She gave me sich a fricht Dad
    Ah near fall aff ma seat
    Haven’t you a handkerchief
    She roared as if in pain
    No, ah jist yase ma sleeve, Miss
    And wiped ma nose again.

    Ah cawd a mouse a moose Dad
    Ah shid hiv held ma tongue
    That’s manure oan yir bits Dad
    Nae longer is it dung
    It’s turnips and potatoes
    No tatties noo and neeps
    She said I’ve ripped my trousers
    When ah’d only torn ma breeks.

    There’s twa words fir awthin’ Dad
    They’re jumbled in ma heed
    Hoo kin I be well bred Dad
    When ah keep sayin’ breed
    Now is a crow a craw Dad
    Is a bull a bull
    A’ll try tae get it richt Dad
    I will, I will, ah wull

  19. Jim Fleming says:

    Wi apologies tae the screiver o the poem abune – dinna ken thur name. Mebbe ane or ither that’s on this threed does?

    1. Billy Kay says:

      Thon poem is fae a fine man cried Jim Douglas fae Glenfarg. I recordit weans recitin it an yaised it in a talk giein on Scots at the Library o Congess in DC

      1. Jim Fleming says:

        Thanks Billy

  20. Rab Fulton says:

    Cheers matthew. Ah spent maist ae me skule days being telt ah wiznae talkin proper n ah wdnae get a joab n aw that pish. It ainly made mi mair convinced that authority figures wur aw numpties… Tho ah huvnae lived in scotland for 17 year ah stull write poetry in Scots. Here’s a couple yi’ll mibbe enjoy:
    Extract fae ‘abstraction written in response’ http://rabfultonstories.weebly.com/poetry.html
    Callisto: http://rabfultonstories.weebly.com/blog/callisto-a-poem

    Oh ay, ah stull hink aw authority figures ur numpties 🙂

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