Boris and the Clown Army

As soon as it was over everyone turned around and wondered why they’d put up with it for so long. That which seemed impossible now seems inevitable. That which seemed invincible now seems intolerable.

That we are in the last days of Theresa May’s rule sees clear. What also seems obvious is that as the acrid smoke of Grenfell Tower clears, the putrid Britain of spiv landlords profiting from sub-standard housing seems as exposed and anachronistic as top hat and tails.

Grenfell speaks to much wider social problems. The disaster reflects terribly on a society where profit, privatisation, deregulation and contempt for the poor have become defining features. The anger is palpable and growing, and huge anti-Tory protests are planned.

It’s wildly obvious that Theresa May cannot continue.

She won’t be allowed to lead another election and its extremely doubtful she can lead the Brexit negotiations. Her polling is through the floor. Britain Elects reports: Public opinion towards… May: Favourable: 29% (-13) Unfavourable: 63% (+16) Corbyn: Fav: 46% (+10) Unfav: 46% (-4) (via , 11-1)

But as the famously fratricidal Tory party looks about the Cabinet table, the question is who could replace her and fight-off the now lugubriously confident Corbyn, who finds himself surrounded by his former enemies, most of whom have sheathed their weapons at least for long enough to submit their CVs.

May looks like a grotesque figure, haunted by her own failure, brutally exposed, a leader in hiding. She’s like a gothic figure, a Bride of Frankenstein comprised of the social conscience of Margaret Thatcher and the grace and charm of Rosa Klebb. Marina Hyde calls her “our bloodied Prom Queen”.

Who will replace her?

Amber Rudd lacks clout. Ruth Davidson lacks a constituency. Philip Hammond is charmless. He’s like a male version of Theresa May with less expensive trousers. Michael Gove can’t even clap convincingly. There’s only one way this is going. There’s only one man with the money, the connections and the ruthlessness to go for it. The Conservatives will take a knee-jerk reaction to Maybot’s introverted communication nightmare and jump for Good Old Boris. They are oblivious to the fact that he appears obnoxious to the general public and the mood of the country is not for another oafish Bullingdon Club boy.

In their delusion that the issue is purely personal they will try and knife their leader and propel Boris into the limelight. Where May seems nervous introverted and cautious, Boris appears bold confident and spontaneous. But he is also a gaff-factory with more skeletons in the cupboard than a Scooby-Doo episode and a personal back-catalogue of sinister ill-will that reads like an Edgar Allen-Poe novel.

So it will be Boris and he will fail and Labour will win and it will be funny.

The entire British political elite is teetering on the brink of spectacular failure because it thinks that the answer is Boris Johnson, Arlene Foster and Vince Cable.They actually thinks that’s credible.

Made in (Kensington and) Chelsea

The mood says this is a big mistake.

But if Corbyn wins it will be a pyrrhic victory.

Like Obama he will inherit his predecessors shambles. In America it was a broken economy, here it is a mountain of debt and a Brexit fiasco. He will be surrounded and hounded by Britain’s tabloid press who are angry that their power is on the wane as an entire generation just bypasses them for more reliable, less toxic sources of information.

This will be a test for the Labour Party, who shouldn’t forget the vitriol of their own right flank. Don’t let the wolf back in because times are going to get hard.

The last few hours has seemed like a two-decade-long backlog of resentment has been unleashed. The housing crisis lies at the epicentre of a society disfigured by inequality, low pay and insecurity. The political forces that created this culture of contempt, this Shirebrook Britain may be about to pay the price. And then, amidst serious social unrest and political upheaval, along comes the biggest foreign crisis of our generation. The “Brexit Dept” today confirmed talks will start in Brussels on Monday, even though there’s no government, no plan, no aims and a Prime Minister too scared to debate with Tim Fallon.

Comments (22)

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  1. Bugger (le Panda) says:

    Can they open negotiations when they are not a legally constituted government, assuming the DUP falls through and the LibDems can’t make their mind up?

    Would they suicide their Party to back May?

  2. bringiton says:

    Never underestimate the Tories will to hang onto power.
    Power is what they crave above all else and sitting on the opposition benches just won’t cut it.
    Policies are designed to ensure that they hang onto power,not what is best for the countries of the British union as we have seen over many generations.
    However,they are in a real pickle now of their own making and I would think that they will want to present an image of stability to the English public so May may be with us for a bit yet.
    She won’t be doing any negotiating with the EU in any case and just has to keep on squawking the platitudes and sound bites for a bit longer to give Joe Public the impression that all is well and we are telling those nasty foreigners what they can do with their market and red tape.
    Now is not quite the time for Boris,I think.

  3. Jim Bennett says:

    I think you’re wrong. I already have money on David Davies. He’s a Tory but a charming and personable Tory.
    Unlike Boris, he’s not obviously culpable in the Kensington fire. Boris’ televised lack of foresight on his fire service cuts is currently swirling round social media.
    The Tories aren’t stupid. They know that Boris would be a disaster for them.

    1. Margaret Brogan says:

      I don’t agree that he is “charming”! Smiles a lot, but has demonstrated unpleasant mysogyny on Question Time and gets irate when he can’t bluff his way out of hard questions.
      I do agree that he’s a Tory!

    2. Graeme Purves says:

      David Davis can only be regarded as ‘charming’ if one is readily charmed by the ill-informed lounge bar bore.

      1. Valerie says:

        Good piece, Mike, and I agree.

        I find Davis completely repugnant. He’s not very bright, but that applies to most of them. I watched him give evidence in one of the Brexit committees, and his sneering condescension to perfectly simple questions about preparation was appalling.

        I think it will be Boris too, based on his touring the world, insulting many en route, and just basically ensuring the UK is regarded as a figure of fun, and getting away with it, never accountable.

        Bread and circuses, with BoJo as ringmaster, is just what is needed to lift the mood.

        1. Yeah Davis polls very badly with women, he is a complete sexist ***

        2. Grace Sutherland says:

          Corbyn is making hay while the sun shines. He can sniff victory and will use any opportunity to make ground.
          There is no obvious choice to replace May. No one is up to it. I cannot countenance the thought of Boris Johnson as PM. I would take to the streets. Not in my name as the saying goes.

  4. Suzanne Kerr says:

    The thought of that clown Boris Johnson being the next Prime Minister is just too hilarious to contemplate. Jeremy Corbyn is a decent, caring human being and is worth more than that bunch of lying, corrupt Tory hypocrites put together.

  5. Stuart says:

    Edgar Allen Poe’s only novel was a rather conventional maritime adventure.

  6. Legerwood says:

    It would appear that Boris is a busted flush
    https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/jun/15/tory-election-research-found-boris-johnson-was-deeply-divisive

    As for David Davies, suggested by Jim Bennett, he may be personable Tory but at the thick end of that spectrum.

    The Tories don’t have a realistic replacement so they are stuck with Mrs May.

  7. Puddinheid says:

    Brilliant piece Mike. Nailed them for what they are.

  8. John O'Dowd says:

    Mike, She actually wrote “bloodstained prom queen”. Both adjectives are highly accurate: Bloodstained indeed – but not yet bloodied enough to quit.

    The big guy in the clip made the best political speech I’ve heard for sometime. No spin – just straight truth – and the right prescription. Magnificent.

  9. Mathew says:

    Great clip. Haven’t I seen that guy in the House of Lords?

  10. Elaine Fraser says:

    Boris will definitely be in the running . His father was on tv not long ago . His sister is often on the box. His father was on the Today programme last year? can’t remember why he was on but he did assert that his son Boris could (should) be Prime Minister. Immediately after the general election result when asked if he continued to support Teresa May or if her time was up Boris could hardly hide his glee and didnt exactly give her his full support ,his response was ‘early days’. Only later did he say ‘get a grip’.

    He reeks of privilege and entitlement and if Trump can be President then sadly Boris can easily use his money and connections to get the top job.

  11. J Galt says:

    It will not be Boris – he might start the leadership change process but he will not finish on top.

    They need a “hopey/changey” preferably female leader.

    Davidson could get a safe English seat if good old Ken Clarke (who was being buttered up in the house the other day – notably by Corbyn – what does that tell you!) could be persuaded to stand down for the good of the party.

    Another name to watch out for is Heidi Allen.

    1. Alf Baird says:

      Who cares who leads England’s Tories? Hopefully soon they will all be immaterial as far as an independent Scotland is concerned. Scotland would then be like most other European nations, looking at them in puzzlement, and wondering how we could ever have let such a pile of imbeciles and airses rule and asset strip our country.

      1. J Galt says:

        It would be nice to be rid of Ruthie though!

      2. IJM says:

        Very true, who gives a ****. I think ( and I know opinion from at least one European
        country ,Italy) that a lot of Europeans are starting to question the Scottish mentality.
        European press ( less rabid right wing nutjobs) tend to print more facts than the
        s*** on sale, or broadcast here. We are the battered wife of Europe. Just leave they
        cry. Why stay they say.

        The evidence, brought sharply into focus in London, of the corruption and the
        intent of the British State ,is overwhelming. From Housing Regulations to Rape Clause
        to Benefit Sanctions it is simply overwhelming. And it is killing people needlessly.

        Old England is Dying. Time to get a divorce.

  12. ronald alexander mcdonald says:

    Corbyn appears to be contributing to the Brexit shambles.

  13. Wul says:

    Desperate times for the Tories. I hope & pray that they don’t decide that we need now is some bigger diversion to make us forget how rotten they are and get us to unite and show some “Dunkirk Spirit”.

  14. Carrick Voice says:

    I would love it if Boris became the next Prime Minister, surely those working class voters in Scotland who voted Tory on the 8th. of June would reflect on this Bullingdon Boy and decide that voting for Ruthless Ruth was a one trick pony mistake. But then again perhaps they would be pleased to see this dangerous bumbling buffoon in charge of Trident, Brexit and the Economy, are they really that stupid? I hate to say this but I think they are.

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