And then Auntie Nicola picked up the wee jar of whisky marmalade she’d been saving up for those cold Brexit winter nights, and she moved it one shelf up. She thought to herself, “it will be there when I need it, as a wee comfort, when times are hard.”

At that very moment a great big ROCK came flying through the window! Crivens, it was Colonel Ruthie, Wee Willie, and Gloomy Kez, and they were shouting like billio, “Take the marmalade off the shelf! Take the marmalade off the shelf!” “Your not allowed to keep the marmalade Nicola!, not, not, NOT!”

They sounded like they were dafties! Ho-ho, thought Auntie Nicola to herself, you’se are all just feart because you’ve got nae marmalade at all and now your scared maybe folks will realise!