Imagine broadcasting this.
Imagine watching this.
Jeremy Vine show, part one.
“I mean, for goodness sake, Scotland, how is it going to survive, what does it have?”
“Oil. And a monster in a lake. And?… ” pic.twitter.com/WLVZ6LW9ab
— Robert (@RobDunsmore) June 25, 2019
Apart from the dripping contempt, the weird editorialising, the inert audience, the complete lack of self-consciousness, one of the funniest aspects is the framing as Britain being all about The Queen. Paul Burrell, a daytime TV remnant of the Diana Cult is called upon for his constitutional wisdom and regales us with the news that:
“Nicola Sturgeon would love to read this, that Scotland would have devolution” (eh?!).
Jeremy Vine intones that Scottish independence: “That would hurt the Queen”.
“… It would hurt the Queen, her Commonwealth and the United Kingdom is her life”
… as everyone nods sagely.
We seem to have slipped into an alternate dimension of English fantasy where Britain is reborn as a Ladybird Book, the Queen is a goodly woman fighting the evil witch in the north.
Then, piling stupidity on stupidity, Carole Malone proclaims that: “Ever time they do a poll, figures now are higher for staying within the union than they were at the time of the referendum … ”
[Narrator: “No, you moron the entire premise of the piece that you are discussing is that they are not”].
Then Jeremy pipes up: “Nicola would Boris tell Scotland to ‘Hop it”?
Nicola isn’t too sure.
Jeremy continues: “I’ve got no evidence of any interest that Boris Johnson has in Scotland whatsoever.”
“I’ve never even heard him mention it.”
“I think Brown might be right about that” says Jeremy “Boris doesn’t have an affinity with Scotland, he’s not a Scottish sort of person” he explains.
You can watch the whole shitshow here.
One one level this is just the dregs of moron culture and it’s as meaningless dross as the crap churned out from every orifice of shit media on many platforms.
But it remains an insight into mainstream English culture at some level that somewhere some producer booked these people and scripted this dire broadcast and that somewhere people were sitting taking it all in.
The Skintland notion of Scotland as a sort of blasted heath is a well-established trope in English visions – and here again it gets a run-out.
The problem is the sort of nakedly hostile, puerile contempt that is on display here has no parallels, and would rightly be condemned by everyone if it was to be parroted from the studios of Pacific Quay. It is still stunning to watch it unfold and worrying for the future if these attitudes are wider than then panel of Channel 5’s daytime output.