Staring at Walls: Social Media Ban

I don’t know what was the greater stroke of genius; getting Taylor Swift to do the theme song or releasing Toy Story 5 the week that Sir Keir Starmer announced that the government are enacting a ban restricting children and young people under 16 from being able to use most of the major social media platforms. Hello, marketing win! My highly sensible response to, well, whatever exactly is going on in the wider world just now, was to take my offspring to see it on release day. I owe Pixar a thank you – they delivered an extremely slick fable about the (pretty pedestrian) dangers Disney weans face on social media. The ills in the film included pretending to be someone you’re not, being forced to grow up too fast and not making genuine friends. Helpfully, a plucky cowgirl and a space ranger did a far better job of playing bad cop than I ever could.

Back to reality (regrettably) and from Spring 2027, companies including Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, X, TikTok and YouTube will be banned from offering services to those under 16-years-old. Why is the government channeling its inner Headteacher on the subject of social media? At the thin end of the wedge, social media is rotting our brains and young children are being sucked into the dopamine loop of the tech bros’ dreams. At the thicker end, children are dying after participating in social media challenges gone wrong and committing suicide after vicious online bullying. Social media, of course, isn’t all bad but equally, a lot of it is; The Academy of Medical Royal Colleges has stated that social media is as harmful for children as smoking. There are lots of depressing statistics regarding how many children have witnessed harmful content by the age of 10 – all of which seem a bit questionable because a good number of children definitely wouldn’t admit they’d seen something awful for fear of getting into trouble or having their devices taken away. Call me a Granola Mum but I don’t think anyone’s children should be exposed to beheading videos. 

Naturally, there is a pungent whiff of the rose-tinted specs – in reality, no-one is suggesting that children should return to having ‘proper’ childhoods of collecting birds’ eggs and taking sweets from strangers, but still – even with my rational hat on, contemporary childhood does seem a little bit crap. I’m no psychologist but I feel the human psyche isn’t really equipped to have their excruciating teenage antics preserved by TikTok posterity. You’re meant to be an idiot when you’re young – there’s not meant to be video evidence of this.

I should probably share (thumbs up to like) that I abhor social media and I’m predisposed to ban the lot of it. However, I’m also wary of throwing our babies out with the bathwater based on a fear of karmic payback in the form of my own children being able to easily outwit me and any bans designed to keep them off social media until they turn 16. Some of Scotland’s (mildly esoteric) babies include connecting with other local traditional musicians and pipe bands, youth groups in rural locations and the way young people participate in Gaelic culture. As ever, Scotland’s casualties are idiosyncratic but for any young person currently using social media, a ban will mean losing things that matter to them from next Spring – unless they can hack the rules – I’d back them being successful because even a Luddite like me is aware of VPNs.

In one of the most depressing sentences ever written, the Good Law Project has declared that social media is ‘an unavoidable reality of modern life’ and that a social media ban is punishing children – who already have to inherit the dumpster fire we have helpfully bequeathed to them. Hardly seems fair and lets the tech bros off scot free. However, what it also speaks to is the inefficacy of the government – who regard it as easier to ban an entire cohort of people (teenagers, notably not famed for quiet compliance) than it is to make profit-riddled corporations treat humans properly. Late-stage capitalism, eat your heart out. Furthermore, at my high school, the girls’ uniform was a knee-length skirt. For six whole years, the only time the hem came anywhere close to my knees was up until I left the house each morning. We are incentivising a highly motivated group of (somewhat rebellious) people to continually upskill themselves in a digital playground where they are the only natives. It’s laughable to suggest that a simple rule will outwit the young ‘uns who are both motivated and phenomenally well-connected (at least on Snapchat.) Early reports show that 61% of Australian children still have access to their social media accounts post-ban. I’m struggling to find a helpful analogy for the social media melee we find ourselves and at the risk of being reductive, I proffer this: remember that time America banned booze? No, not in response to Scotland fans drinking Boston dry (lads!) but when there was a moral panic about the (peeshed) state of the nation. We now know that quite a lot of boozing went on during the 13-years of prohibition and that was when there was no group chat to help with organising and distributing. It’s reasonable to assume that Scotland’s young people will remain wedded to social media at a similar rate to those in Australia, which suggests a ban won’t achieve its stated aims.

Instead, what might prove more (at all) effective is that the companies who are making a fortune from our little content consumers, be held to account and made responsible for their products’ harms. They have algorithmically engineered social media to hook its users – they can re-engineer it if they are suitably motivated. It’s also perhaps more just to throw the book at those profiting rather than those being profited from. The charity Children in Scotland describe the upcoming ban as ‘a very blunt tool’ and thus win the understatement of the year. It’s not sexy but what is a great deal more likely to work is the non-headline-grabbing robust regulation. Make lots of rules for large corporations to follow and enforce them to the hilt. Maybe we could start with a group screening of Toy Story 5 to set the mood and remind them of what’s at stake.